Parents Getting False Sense of Security with Bullying Prevention Programs

Academics Masquerading as Self-Defense Experts May Give Parents False Sense of Security with Bullying Prevention Programs?

• Is The Anti-Bullying Movement like the Failed Stranger Danger Movement?
• Why is the Anti-Bullying Movement now a centralized Federal government effort, spending your tax dollars, rather than a local, family, teacher, school issue?
• Why are the so called bullying prevention programs not designed by professional protectors?
• Does your child's anti-bullying program infringe on free speech?
• Does your child's school anti-bullying program scare your child into being a victim and not defending himself if physically attacked?
• Is bullying really a crisis? Is bullying an epidemic? Is bullying really different present day as compared to the past? What exactly is "bullying" by strict definition anyway?

Did you know that recent research* shows that school-wide anti-bullying programs aren't working?

The so-called "ANTI-BULLYING" programs your child's school is teaching may not be what they are promoting them to be. This is especially true for some of the more politically motivated programs being pushed in some schools.

Here is a discussion I have had on more than one occasion with a parent, administrator or well-intentioned teacher...

Teacher: "We have a great bullying prevention program." (implying we don't need yours).

JN: "Really? What makes it so good?"

Teacher: "They make sure to teach the kids to speak up. Our school takes bullying really seriously. They have meetings, assemblies and everything."

JN: "That's great. What do they teach if the child is getting beat up?

Teacher: "Uhhh??"

JN: "Here's my question...what if right now, your child is being held in a headlock, hair pulled, punched in the eye then thrown to the ground?"

Teacher: [Blank stare. Pause. Eyebrows raise.] Hmm. "To report it?"

JN: "Do you believe that is the best response and willing to accept those consequences? What about the child?"

Teacher: "Hm. I never thought of it that way."

JN: Research indicates that over 85% of bullying goes unreported. What about those times?

JN: If there were a way to teach your child how to safely escape that situation with minimal damage to either child would you want to learn about it?"

That's my definition of a bullying prevention program. It must address the reality of aggressive behavior, conflict management and problem solving in the context of a child's daily life - in or out of school.

If your so-called bullying prevention program doesn't include physical intervention skills, then it is not a bullying prevention program.

Before you think I am bashing teachers, the public education system or our government's programs on bullying, please take a moment to understand my background.

o Trainer to military, law enforcement and bodyguards

o Graduate of Gavin de Beckers Academy for Protectors and trained in Advanced Threat Assessment and Management

o Taught over 10,000 students in my career

o 6th Degree Master multiple Black Belt holder

o Trained by the US Army for Military Intelligence

o 20 plus years of bullying prevention and self-defense research, practice and training

My goal is to be the catalyst for a more informed discussion and one that includes safety and self defense experts. My contention is that it could be better. That's why I created training programs and an organization (The Bullying Prevention Initiative International) dedicated to that mission. We have better answers to the problem but can easily be lost in a sea of misinformation being aggressively promoted.

I was the target of bullying and learned to over come it. More importantly, I have been SUCCESSFULLY been teaching men, women and children how to deal with bullying and self defense situations for over 25+ years. I'm confident in what I teach because I have evidence and personal experience to back it up.

While I deeply respect the teaching profession, the numerous professional educators in my schools and seminars over the years my contention is with the merits and approach to the bullying programs - not the individuals.

My belief is that when teachers and parents know better then they can choose to do better. Right now, some serious emotional placebos being promoted when it comes to leading people to believe that some of these popular bullying prevention programs are going to effectively keep children safe. While they may* contribute toward safety, they could be much better.

Heard or read any of these? If you want the facts, you should consider doing more research.

The Facts About Most Bullying Programs

What many schools are representing as a bullying prevention program is in fact a verbal and emotional abuse reporting program.

Wishful thinking is not effective self-defense. Nor is leaving children to their own devices when push comes to shove. If children do not know what appropriate physical intervention skills they can use, they may over-react and respond with excessive force.

Excessive force can be the result of ineffectively or inappropriately applied force options. There are appropriate force, humane and responsible physical intervention techniques available.

Our programs present options for using simple distractions, leverage and defensive physical intervention techniques. It protects all the children involved while being socially, morally and legally conscientious.

Any good bullying prevention program will list the types of bullying as:

1. Verbal

2. Social (Indirect, Alienation, Cyber-Bullying)

3. Physical

Note: Cyber-bullying is one of the first two via a sometimes anonymous and often, poorly monitored 24/7 access medium.

So then where is the training for physical abuse prevention? What mechanism is in place that protects children from physical abuse? The fact is that it remains ill addressed and the only mechanisms that most programs suggest is prevention and reporting. These options, while important, are negligent and incomplete.

Pre-contact and post-contact solutions are important, however it does nothing to help a desperate child having the daylights beat and kicked out of him or her.

Inevitably, when we present this point to many schools they express concern about liability. This is a valid concern but not one a parent can put over their child's safety when it comes to a clear case of abuse. We have options for true bullying prevention training that also protects from liability. Our training covers program bullying prevention training program options for schools, teachers and private citizens.

ANTI-BULLY! ZERO TOLERANCE! BULLY FREE ZONE!

Perhaps you've seen some of these emotional placebo type efforts. But think critically for a moment, do they actually reduce bullying? Are they keeping our children any safer?

Some of the bullying programs actually vilify children, many who are targets themselves and acting out with bullying behavior. These purported ANTI-BULLY programs can be just as aggressive as other kinds of bullying. Being a bigger bully is not a recommended nor acceptable approach to bullying prevention and raising happy, healthy safer children. These are the same types of poorly researched programs still teaching such irresponsible techniques as "just walk away" or "bullies don't like themselves and are just insecure". The facts do not support these beliefs.

My issue is with the security theater type approach so prevalent today. The facts just do not support the claims and impression they are misleading themselves and parents with.

While a applaud the well-intentioned efforts of teachers and administrators implementing bullying prevention programs, I take issue with the programs neglecting one of the most important aspects of human rights - the right to not be abused - the right to self-defense. Without options, it can get extremely violent.

Furthermore I deplore the idea that the safety and self-defense advice is coming from people without expertise in the field. That is clearly misrepresentation and misleading others to the children's detriment. I find it inexcusable that the required self-defense and personal safety information/expertise is available and willing to help, yet gets ignored.

We believe that children need to know when they have the right to defend themselves to stop an attacker from hurting them. In our programs we do not teach fighting. Fighting is not the same thing as self-defense. We teach that self defense is a last resort and only used when you are going to be injured and you cannot escape or get help. If you agree, we might be the training program you've been looking for.

Wake up call. Sunshine, rainbows, clever packaging and BULLY FREE ZONE signs don't solve the problem of fist meeting face. Denial and wishful thinking are not acceptable self defense options.

We're here to help when you're ready.

Yours for happier, healthier, safer kids,

John Nottingham

Bullying Prevention Specialist

NOTE: Since this is a brief blog article (rant really) the issues brought are addressed in more detail in our training programs. If you would like the answers to these and other questions please feel free to contact us at info@usa-martialarts.com

*http://www.wce.wwu.edu/Depts/SPED/Forms/Kens%20Readings/Violence/Bullying/Bul%20Effectiveness%20of%20whole%20school%20antibullying%20programs%20Smith%202004.pdf

How To Prevent Bullying Program Phoenix Partners With Bullying Prevention Initiative International

How to Prevent Bullying

The Arizona Bully Proof Project is a division of The Arizona Bullying Prevention initiative created by protection specialist John Nottingham.

The training and curriculum offer ways to prevent bullying, bullying facts, proven methods on how to stop bullying, effective ways to stop bullying, bullying statistics, tips on how to stop bullying, how to stop bullying for kids, and how to stop workplace bullying.

Courses and Topics:

• The ABC's of Conflict Avoidance
• The Bully Proof Vest Program
• The 5 Step Method of Handling a Bully Without Fighting
• How to Stop Bullying The Smart Way
• Turning Your Bully Into a Buddy
• How to Defeat a Bully Without Fighting

For more information about the Arizona Bully Proof Project or the Bully Prevention Initiative International contact:

Bully Proof Project

4731 E. Greenway Suite 9

Phoenix, Arizona 85032

602-896-8721 info@usa-martialarts.com

Halloween Trick or Treat Safety Tips

Halloween Trick or Treat Safety Tips

1. Never go alone

2. Carry a flashlight

3. Only approach homes you trust and that have a light on

4. Have parents check candy before you eat it

5. Be sure your costume is flame resistant

6. Stay on sidewalk

7. Don't cut across yards or driveways

8. Use reflective tape on costumes

9. Remember 911 can be called from any phone

10. ALWAYS take mask off before crossing street

Keep pets, especially cats, inside and bring in pumpkins/jack-o-lanterns after trick or treat hours.

Avoid potentially dangerous situations and practice safe habits. If you sense something is not right, go to a friend or neighbors house.

If you notice bullying, egging, paintball, pumpkin smashing or other dangerous behavior, get to a safe place immediately and report it.

How To Defeat Your Bully Without Fighting - Using Brains Over Brawn!

Throughout the month of October, USA Martial Arts Phoenix will be conducting a series of Bully Prevention workshops titled, "How To Defeat Your Bully Without Fighting". It includes techniques from PI, Bodyguard trainer and Martial Arts Master John Nottingham's Bully Proof Vest curriculum. The Bully Proof Vest curriculum is a program he teaches at schools and to audiences across the country.

Nottingham, a former US Army Airborne veteran was once the target of bullying himself. Now he shares a program that gives parents, teachers and children peaceful and practical options for handling bullies.

"We are the only agency who has developed our curriculum over the past 26 years and taught over 10,000 men, women and children. Our concepts have been shared with thousands of schools, students, parents and teachers at our expense. We have included practical skills that include pre-incident strategies all the way to physical intervention and how not to get hurt when things get violent. Our program incorporates elements from Verbal Judo, Bodyguard protective security strategies, avoidance, prevention and deterrence skills. We've helped thousands of children successfully deal with bullies while keeping their dignity. Not many programs can claim that."

Nottingham points out one major flaw in other bullying programs is that when they teach a child to "just walk away" when things get physical, that well intentioned child takes a beating for the bad advice.

"Self defense is situational and has to fit the unique aspects of the conflict. Children can be trained to see the signs of physical aggression and know when and how they can protect themselves from harm. We teach simple, step by step options that are reasonable and responsible. It works - that much we know from experience."

• School Yard Bullying
• Cyber Bullying
• Social Bullying
• Mental and Emotional Bullying
• Physical Bullying

We have proven answers to protect your child.

To reserve space for your child you must register by sending an email to:

info@usa-martialarts.com and provide your email. A representative will contact you for an appointment and additional information.

USA Martial Arts Phoenix

Bully Proofing Arizona

4731 E. Greenway Suite 9

Phoenix, Arizona 85032

Sponsored by Nottingham Sword & Shield Security Bodyguards and USA Martial Arts Phoenix in partnership with the Arizona Bully Prevention Initiative - the Phoenix AZ Bullying Prevention Initiative Arizona | Phoenix Bully Proof Project.

How To Handle a Bully Without Fighting

Bully Buster Program

The Arizona Bully Prevention Initiative- Phoenix Bully Proof Project is dedicated to providing a safe learning and working environment for both our students and our teachers. With that in mind, the district has developed a series of intervention and prevention programs

It is the goal of everyone involved in the Phoenix, Scottsdale, Paradise Valley Arizona based program is to provide effective bullying prevention education, training and resources to parents, teachers, and children.

The Arizona Bullying Prevention Project has teamed up with USA Martial Arts Phoenix and Nottingham Sword and Shield Security to provide free Bully Prevention Workshops throughout the month of October. October is Bully Prevention Month.

For more information email info@usa-martialarts.com or call 602-896-8721.

Bully Prevention & Self Defense Secrets - a Martial Arts Philosophical Perspective

by John Nottingham, EPS, PI, 6th Dan

The Arizona Bullying Prevention Project

When I first started martial arts in my youth I learned a secret to self defense and bullying prevention that has served me well throughout life. I'd like to share that secret with you in this brief blog article.

First you have to understand my teachers background. He was a ROK Marine, a Korean immigrant living in the Midwest teaching a hybrid martial art system. Not only did we get a dose of traditional Korean and Chinese Martial Arts philosophy, his lessons included some simple common sense wisdom he learned from his unique life experience. He grew up in the mean streets of a rapidly changing Korea, an ancient culture rapidly changing into the new world. Times were tough and you had to learn to stand up for yourself. Crime, rioting and street violence were frequent so his martial arts skills had to work if he wanted to be able to defend himself.

His techniques could not simply be theoretical or a hobby limited to personal development and fitness. He had to know what worked on the street, under pressure and often against multiple attackers. When a thug is in your face, this is not the time to hope your martial arts techniques work. He had to rely on them to save his bacon.

He later would serve in the military as a Marine during the VietNam conflict. ROK Marines were known for their ferocity, bravery and intense loyalty. So his experience was as a street fighter, martial artist (Chinese Temple Kung Fu and Korean MooDukKwan TangSooDo - later referred to as TaeKwonDo.) and as a combat soldier.

I was a young wide eyed kid wanting to learn the mysterious martial arts secrets from the orient. My imagination fired by James Bond doing Jujutsu, Bruce Lee doing Jeet Kune Do and Chuck Norris doing Tang Soo Do (Korean Martial Arts) I wanted this mysterious power of martial arts and self defense. After begging Mom for Martial Arts lessons, researching the phone book (this was before Google lol), and asking friends, I found two schools in town. The one with the tough reputation ended up being my choice. Over the years I've been blessed to follow my dream and study numerous systems.

Like so many others, I began my martial arts journey and discovered that it was much harder and different than what I had expected. This was particularly true for an insecure kid with asthma, allergies and issues of low self esteem and insecurity. Martial Arts helped me change all that. What I learned was that the battle we fight is first within ourselves. Once we begin to learn that, only then can we learn to deal kindly, politely and compassionately with others.

My first teacher taught me many lessons about work ethic, discipline, a strong mental "I CAN" attitude. Along with that, he taught each of his students this simple but profound truth about self defense. It equally fits how to deal with bullying and how to handle a bully problem. He said, "The best self defense is to have no enemies." Later, Grandmaster Jhoon Rhee would teach me that the most powerful person is one who can make friends and the best self defense technique in the world is the ability to turn a friend into an enemy.

Last week I reflected on these fond memories and martial arts lessons I've used over the years as I taught our USA Martial Arts students our lesson of the week. This particular phrase and lesson comes from my mentor Shihan Dave Kovar. "Who is mighty? One with control over their emotions and can make friends from enemies."

Although it seems simple, these lessons are powerful and profound in their use. It is for this and other reasons I feel so strongly that martial arts is so important for today's youth. It has the time-tested wisdom they need to be healthy, confident and strong individuals. It instills virtues that serve you throughout your life. It contributes toward a better community through building better citizens with a mindset of compassion, friendship and peace. It also helps keep America strong by preparing today's youth for tomorrows challenges. It all starts with the courage to face the fears and limitations within ourselves.

Bully Prevention Begins With Building Children's Self Esteem

Bully Prevention Specialist John Nottingham Says Teaching Kids How To Stop A Bully Begins With Building a Kid's Confidence

You can tell a child to walk away from a fight all day and they will still get into fights or be bullied. You can hope your child has the social skills to properly handle a bully or you can take specific steps to equip them with the correct bully prevention skills.

Social Intelligence is Built on Confidence

The difference between someone who successfully avoids being the target for bullying and those who are not is often social intelligence. Social intelligence is easy for some children and difficult for others. In my experience the underlying factor in all socially skilled children is the confidence factor.

Self Esteem and Confidence in Children Helps Prevent Bullying

Children with higher self esteem and solid confidence have a foundation from which to build. They see themselves as worthy of defending. After all, if you do not think much of yourself, then you won't see much reason to stand up to a bully. It takes a lot of courage to risk social ostracization, ridicule and even physical harm. Without a strong self concept, high self esteem and functional confidence, a child stands little chance in school, the playground or street. Before long, the negative experiences of being picked on can ad up and reinforce negative feelings towards one's self.

Taking Responsibility Helps Prevent Bullying

Preparing children for such social battles is the responsibility of the parent. Teachers, coaches and other responsible adults can reinforce and support these goals, but the primary source of education should come from the parents. Children model what they see and repeat what they experience in the microcosm of a family.

Lead By Example for Bullying Prevention

Children notice and mentally record how their parents handle conflicts-especially when handling aggression and power-imbalances like bullying behavior. They notice if we manipulate, deceive, confront, or avoid to deal with others. Depending on the child's personality and experiences, they choose to follow or not follow in our footsteps.

Building Strong Relationships Helps Prevent Being Targeted for Bullying

Often, children do exactly what they have see their parents do. This is why it is so important to have a strong relationship with children and be mindful that our actions are always teaching - positive or negatively. Ask yourself, based on how you last handled a social encounter, how might your child react to a bully?

Listening Builds Children's Self-Esteem

How well parents listen and take an active part in teaching their children how to develop problem solving and coping skills is key to effective bullying prevention. Coupled with a parents knowledge of their child's personality and social strengths, taking time to role play can really enhance the child's ability to effectively handle bullying behavior at school or elsewhere. Role playing builds confidence. Confidence significantly improves a child's chances for successfully dealing with a bully.

Want more information on bully prevention?

For other self-esteem and confidence enhancing tips, feel free to email us or visit our facebook page ARIZONA BULLY PROOF TRAINING.