Bullying Prevention and Bully Intervention Mistakes

How would you like it if your Doctor just started operating on your child with no tests, diagnosis or even interview?

This is not only dangerous but could have catastrophic consequences.  I have observed that this is all too common practice among some in the anti-bully movement.  Prescription without diagnosis is a common pitfall that needs to be avoided.  This is also among the reasons of why I do not agree with so called anti-bullying legislation nor school-wide anti-bullying policies as an effectual means to deal with the particular issues involved in bullying.  Although well intentioned, my experience clearly shows that those are backwards approaches to addressing the core issues of bullying and aggressive behavior.

BULLYING HELP FREE REPORT

Managing Conflict Without Violence - Bully Prevention 

by John D. Nottingham

Bullying 911 - Misdiagnosis
We have to be cautious that we do not treat cases in an overly generalized manner.  In my programs and workshops I emphasize a more individualized approach where diagnosis is key to recommending a course for treatment.

The two most common assumptions are:
1. The child is incapable of self rescue.
2. The child is capable of self rescue.

Preventing Bullying With Wisdom, Training and Compassion
The main emphasis of my programs are to BULLYPROOF or more accurately, victim-proof children with social and safety skills so that they are armed for life.  Doing everything for a child and insulating them from all difficulty is a sure way of disarming them and leaving them vulnerable.  However, sometimes children are in need of specific intervention.  That is why my team and I view it a process of moving from dependence to independence to interdependence.

FREE BULLYING PREVENTION TIPS 

John Nottingham Bullying Specialist Radio Interview 

Bubble Wrapped Kids From Helicopter Parenting?
We don't want to cripple children by doing everything for them and robbing them of the skills and lessons to grow into healthy, productive and functioning individuals.  At the same time, we need to be aware that some children need more help than others.  This is based on the social, safety and individual dynamics of the bullying situation.

If you would like to learn more about our assessment process and bullying prevention training programs, networking or efforts, please feel free to contact me personally at:

 BullyProofVestAZ@gmail.com

John Nottingham, PI, EPS, 6th Degree Master Black Belt
Founder Bullying Prevention Initiative International / Phoenix BullyProof Project
Author: BULLYPROOF YOUR KIDS: How to Handle a Bully Like a Bodyguard

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Frequently Asked Questions About Bullies, Bullying and Bystanders to Bully Behavior

Frequently Asked Questions About Bullies and Bullying
By John D. Nottingham, PI, EPS, 6th Degree Black Belt, Bullying Prevention Specialist

What is Bullying?
A broad social term with varying definitions describing oppressive behavior over time.

Is Bullying Getting Worse?

Bullying has been called an epidemic by President Obama and in the media, yet the data to date is inconclusive. A 2010 study by the U.S. Department of Justice, for example, found that the number of children who reported being bullied fell from 22 percent in 2003 to 15 percent in 2008. It is still unclear if bullying is getting worse due to several factors:

• Changing definitions of bullying 
• Changing perceptions on bullying 
• Much of the research to date is questionable (Much of the data is from the group selling the most expensive programs to schools around the world.)

Recent research shows that one in three children are directly involved in bullying as a perpetrator, target, or both. And many of those who are not directly involved witness others being bullied on a regular basis. No child is immune—kids of every race, gender, grade and socio-economic sector are impacted.* source

A healthy skepticism is in order as with any reported statistics.  Consider the source and the preponderance of evidence combined with open minded common sense.  What we know is that the verdict is still out and more objective research is necessary to conclude anything more.

What are the Types of Bullying?
My short definition is oppression. This includes mental, physical and emotional imbalance of power and manipulation over time. It can be direct or indirect.

In our courses I teach about:

• Verbal bullying – the most common form of bullying, can be insults, humiliating comment, name calling, taunting, harassing. 
• Physical bullying-easiest to see from the outside, can be tripping, punching, shoving, pinching, kicking, tripping, hair pulling, pencil poking, hiding things, stealing. 
• Social/relational bullying – hard to detect and often indirect, can be shunning and exclusion, done through body language like dismissive looks, mean and degrading notes, ignoring, spreading rumors 
• Cyber-bullying/Internet Bullying/Media Bullying – newest form of bullying, using text messaging, email, chatrooms, Facebook, forums, message boards and other social media to send threatening and degrading messages, harass, or spread rumors. 
• Video Bullying: selectively editing embarrassing video footage, message boards or other media. 
• Manipulation: causing an individual to get in trouble through false accusations, testimony or other means to control, exact revenge and cause pain/embarrassment 
• Some subcategories can include sexual bullying, racial bullying and gender bias bullying. 

Who Bullies?
Despite what you will often read and hear, research shows that just about everyone engages in bullying behavior. That is why I find the outcry with stop bullying, hating bullies and labeling can be so disingenuous. Nobody is perfect and we can all have bad days, bad moods and act inappropriately. It's not as black and white, good and evil as some would naively have you believe.

Bullying is a behavior is rooted in manipulation, wielding authority, intimidation, and manipulation. Wielding power yields high social rewards and status and also commands respect. Whether or not it is considered bullying is often based on one's perspective. I see parents bully their own children quite often when they lack other tools of leadership and influence. You can see bullying on our roads when we drive, in the workplace and even in homes. In order to deal with bullying we have to start by being honest about reality and our own role in it.

One of the more common myths in bullying is that it is done by children whom are considered outcasts or with low self esteem. The research shows that it is often the most popular adults and children who bully the most, often without recognizing it as bullying behavior. Those with high social intelligence are not only frequent bullyers, but equally good at rationalizing it as humor or other justifiable behavior.

Who Gets Bullied?
Nearly everyone gets bullied, however, it is often those with the least social intelligence, assertion competence and boundary setting skills that suffer it continually. Some develop these skills based on early experiences at pre-school or in the home while others have to learn it later. Some still do not have these skills even as adults.

It is very clear that those who stand up to bullying behavior usually experience the least of it.
Bullying requires a soft (unprotected) target, a permissive target in order to continue.

When we shift our thinking from always blaming others to having a stake in the process, we can begin to exercise more personal power and protective strategies. This is not to say that the target of bullying is to blame, nor that the person doing the bullying isn't responsible for their behavior. Bullying is wrong and the target is not to blame.

Where Does Bullying Take Place?
Bullying takes place where it is permitted and not seen. Most often this is in places of transition and out of sight of teachers, adults and authority figures who would object. The setting for abuse is where an abuser has privacy and control. Bullying takes place where it is not confronted or held to account.

This is why treating the social environment is critical and teaching others to become advocates, to speak up and take action is important.

What is the Frequency of Bullying?
Most data indicates that bullying today is most frequent at recess during school hours. Many researches are predicting that as children spend more time online and on various media such as cellphones that the reported incidents of bullying there will increase.

My position is that children are at risk where they spend the majority of their time.

Bullying frequency studies show varying results. Consider that the definitions and standards, survey samples are all factors in varying results. Some studies have much more broad definitions of bullying, therefore will have higher reported frequency of incidences.

There are two sources of federally collected data on youth bullying:

• The 2009 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) indicates that, nationwide, 20% of students in grades 9–12 experienced bullying.
• The 2008–2009 School Crime Supplement (National Center for Education Statistics and Bureau of Justice Statistics) indicates that, nationwide, 28% of students in grades 6–12 experienced bullying.

Are School-wide Anti-Bullying Programs Effective?
Dr. David Smith, PhD, of the University of Ottawa, conducted a meta analysis of all available research studies regarding the effectiveness of whole-school anti-bully programs. His results, published in the School Psychology Review (2004 issue) are clear: 

• 14% of victim outcome reports showed a minor positive benefit 
• 86% of victim outcome reports were negligible or negative 
• 100% of self-reporting bully outcome reports demonstrated negligible / negative effects

In 2007, another meta analysis out of Texas A&M  International University reviewed school-based bully prevention and intervention programs and came to the conclusion that overall, they showed “little discernable effect.”
Vreeman and Carroll published a review of 26 school-based anti-bully programs in 2007 issue of the Achieves of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine. Only 3 could point to consistent reduction in bullying.Dr. Wendy Craig, author, researcher, speaker and professor of psychology at the prestigious Queen’s University in Canada, reports in her study that in 15% of schools with comprehensive anti-bullying problems actually experienced the problems get worse.*  *source 

Where is all the Misinformation and Guesswork Coming From?
The majority of the misinformation emanates from individuals without protective nor peace education training. You can see a lot of misinformation being passed around.  Once it reaches a certain level of popularity it starts becoming accepted as fact, when it is nothing of the sort.  

Sometimes individuals will piece together personal experiences, facts and information together from various sources. Unfortunately, many of them are seeking confirmatory evidence to support an existing belief or an agenda.  What is missing is the objectivity, data and effective testing methods.  It gets especially messy when you factor in political and personal agendas.  A bit of healthy skepticism is in order or we risk repeating the failed scare movements such as Stranger Danger or D.A.R..E. (over 200 billion dollars spent).

Other sources of bullying research promote data from small samples, and even different countries.  Much of the popular information provided to date is provided by the group selling the most expensive anti-bullying programs to schools.

During teacher training I sometimes ask for volunteers to participate in a role-playing experiment. Ironically, many of the so-called bullying experts and teachers cannot stop me from bullying them. Many escalate or abdicate to indirect bullying.
Many of the prevailing groups involved in bullying movement I would argue are not experts in the area in which they are espousing. You cannot give away a skill you do not posses.  


In my view, getting to a solution starts by being honest and defining our desired outcome and shared values.

Anti-Bullying, The David and Goliath Bullying Prevention Program

Do You Sometimes Feel Like This?

Anti-Bullying: The David and Goliath Bullying Prevention Program Seeks to Change Children From The Inside Out

Do You Feel Like You're Facing a Giant?
Why Do So Many Anti-Bully Programs Fail Children?
Bullying Prevention Initiative International founder John Nottingham says the reason so many bullying programs fail children and families is that it attempts to manipulate external forces, rather than the internal ones causing the bullying.  Many children feel trapped by a bullying situation because they are afraid to tell or believe the situation will only get worse if they do anything other than comply.

Anti-Bullying David and Goliath Approach of John Nottingham's Bully Proof Vest Program
Their bullying situation leaves them feeling outmatched and like the underdog.  That is why we refer to it as our David and Goliath approach.  Our Bullying Prevention Program addresses this on a very practical and straight forward level for children, parents and teachers.

I have children and their parents coming into my martial arts schools exasperated with trying to deal with bullying in the manner the schools and mainstream thinking advises.  We give them our proven formula for bullying prevention that has worked for thousands of men, women and children over the past twenty six years.

Bullying Prevention The Bodyguard and Black Belt Way
Nottingham and his team of Bodyguards and Black Belts share a message of hope aimed at children to help them face aggressive behavior intelligently and improve social intelligence.  They begin with listening, something few bullying prevention programs do.  We have a carefully crafted interview process that helps the child feel safe and allows us as professional protectors to offer safety and conflict resolution advice that is appropriate for that child's unique bullying situation.

It's interesting to me that so many experts are so quick to offer prescription without diagnosis.  Studying advanced threat assessment for executive protection (body-guarding) has taught me that each potentially violent or threatening encounter should be treated individually.  

Addressing Bullying From The Inside Out Rather Than The Outside In
John Nottingham, a 6th Degree Master Black Belt and security company owner points out; what would you think of your Doctor performing surgery and offering advice to you without doing tests and a proper diagnosis first?  Yet this is the method for most so-called experts leading anti-bully programs.  They put out generic information, put up posters, establish rules and bring in motivational speakers in the name of "awareness".  While some of it may have merit, the fact is that children are still falling through the cracks.  Encroaching on others free speech or trying to convince ourselves that we are simply going to stop others from being mean, cruel or insulting is just impractical nonsense.  We must do better.

Rather than criticize these, albeit well intentioned, approaches, I decided to be part of the solution and use our bodyguard skills as professional protectors to contribute toward the solution.  We train children so they develop empathy, incentivise a hero culture and instill values of right and wrong.  My team and I emphasize accountability, transparency and conflict resolution skills.  We help children develop inner-strength to face life's challenges with courage and know how to access help, support and resources.  Then they know they are not alone when facing their giants.

Bullying Prevention is a Self Defense Science
These bullying prevention skills comes from his programs Three Shields approach of treating the children targeted with bullying, the social environment (bystanders), the bullying behavior as well as teachers and parents.  Nottingham says we can only change it if we acknowledge the reality of Bullying, harassment and aggressive behavior as it relates to self-defense and human dignity, then recognize we all have a stake in the process.

Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative - The Bully Proof Project
You will not help a child by merely fixing the problem for them.  It may be necessary in some rare instances, however that is only temporary.  If children do not develop the skills to handle bullying situations parents and teachers risk making them life long victims, or worse, avengers who take their frustration to extremes.  Nottingham says this is why it is so important to start early and instill noble values and a sense of inner-strength in each child.

BullyProof Your Child Right Away.

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Bullying Best Practices  Evidence Based Anti-Bully Programs  Research Based Bullying Prevention

Bullying Prevention Resources, Information, Articles, Websites, Books, Organizations, Videos, Programs, Policy

Resources

Articles Websites Books Materials for bullying prevention programs Reports from Organizations Policy guidelines Videos Programs

Articles

Benard, Bonnie (1995) Fostering resilience in children, ERIC digest, Office of Educational Research and Improvement, U.S. Department of Education EDO-PS-95-9 Bluestein, Jane (2003) "What's wrong with I-messages?" Brown, Lyn Mikel (2005) Creating safe, fair, and responsive schools. Canadian Initiative for the Prevention of Bullying Cohn, A. & Canter, A. (2003). Bullying: Facts for schools and parents. National Association of School Psychologists Craig, Wendy: Publications, many about bullying prevention Craig, Wendy: List of books about bullying prevention Davis, Stan (2005) Creating School-Wide Anti-Bullying Strategies: an Education World wire-side chat Limber, Susan P. What Do We Know About Bullying Among School Children? Maine (US) Governor's Cabinet: Best Practices in Bullying Prevention National School Boards Association (2006): Where we learn: the Council of Urban Boards of Education study of urban school climate Northwest Regional Educational Laboratory (2001), "School wide prevention of bullying" Olweus, Dan (2003). A profile of bullying at school. Educational Leadership, 60(6), 12-17. Shure, M. (2000). Bullies and their victims: A problem-solving approach to prevention. Brown University Child and Adolescent Behavior Letter, 16, Providence RI : 1 and 6 Smith, Helen "Is school violence the fault of outcasts or their tormentors?" US Department of Health and Human Services (2003). Bullying is Not a Fact of Life. Voors, William (2003). Bullying -both sides of the fence, Paradigm Winter 2003, 8(1) & 6(4), 16 University of Colorado (US) : Overview of bullying prevention. Wylie, Mary S. (2000), Teaching kids to care (Family Therapy Networker) Return to Top

Websites

Fighting hate on campus - from the Southern Poverty Law Center Bullying Research - A connection to Bullying Prevention websites and resources worldwide The Massachusetts Aggression Resource Center offers useful resources for all to use Raven Days - a site for outsiders who are being bullied at school, for adults who remember what it was like to be bullied, for those who want to help StopBullyingNow.com - articles, resources, and an overview of bullying prevention strategies StopBullyingNow.hrsa.gov - US National Anti-bullying Campaign. Site for "tweens" ages 9 – 13. Games, webisodes, activities. Adult section contains many research-based fact sheets written for various professions and for parents. The Social Outcast - Ostracism, Social Exclusion, Rejection, & Bullying- proceedings of 2004 symposium of social psychology in Sydney, Australia Sydney Symposium of Social Psychology 2005 - download and read papers presented http://www.stop-violence.org/ - Featuring "STEP Up" program; new curriculum for female bullying Return to Top

Books

Brown, L.M. (2003) Girlfighting: Betrayal and Rejection Among Girls, New York University Press; also see her new curriculum "From Adversaries to Allies: A Curriculum for Change" Center for the Study and Prevention of Violence, (2002). Blueprints for Bullying Prevention Program University of Colorado, Boulder Coloroso, B.(2004) The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Preschool to High School--How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle of Violence Collins Davis, S. (2007) Empowering Bystanders in Bullying Prevention K-8, Research Press Davis, S. (2007) Schools Where Everyone Belongs:Practical Strategies for Reducing Bullying, Research Press Espelage, D.(2003) Bullying in American Schools: A Social-Ecological Perspective on Prevention and Intervention Garbarino, J. and Delara, E. (2003) And Words Can Hurt Forever: How to Protect Adolescents from Bullying, Harassment, and Emotional Violence Free Press Katz, M. (1997). On Playing a Poor Hand Well: Insights from the lives of those who have overcome childhood risks and adversities. W. W. Norton and Company, New York Landry, Deb; (2006); Sticks, Stones and Stumped, children’s book and interactive social awareness mentoring play; pre K-4; Bryson Taylor Ludwig, T.(2005) My Secret Bully Olweus, D (1993) Bullying at School: What We Know and What We Can Do Blackwell Peretti, F. (2000) The Wounded Spirit. Word Publishing, Nashville, TN Sharp, S. & Smith, P.(Eds.). (1994) Tackling bullying in your schools. New York: Routledge Smith, P. K., Morita, Y., Junger-Tas, J., Olweus, D., Catalnao, R. and Slee, P. (1999).The Nature of School Bullying: A Cross-National Perspective Voors, W. (2000) The Parent's Book about Bullying: Changing the Course of Your Child's Life Hazelden Publishing Return to Top

Materials for bullying prevention programs

Blueprints for Violence Prevention Model Program From the University of Colorado, Center for the Study of Violence Prevention. Froschl,M., Sprung, B., Mullin-Rindler, N. with Stein, N. and Gropper, B.: Quit it! Center for Research on Women, Wellesley MA Stein, N.D. & Sjostrom,L. (1996). Bullyproof. A Teacher's Guide on Teasing and Bullying for use with Fourth and Fifth Grade Students, Wellesley, MA: Wellesley College Center for Research on Women Return to Top

Reports from organizations

Human Rights Watch Report: Hatred in the Hallways Partners Against Hate US National Center for Injury Prevention and control: Best Practices of Youth Violence Prevention: A Sourcebook for Community Action Return to Top

Policy guidelines

If you are concerned about the harassment of someone with a disability, you will want to read this Letter from the US Department of Education about disability harassmentor "What can I do if my child with a disability is being harassed in school?" When Conflict Arises Between Home and School - a resource from the New Brunswick, Canada, Department of Education. From New Zealand, a set of Guidelines for schools Return to Top

Videos

Let's Get Real - A video full of the words and thoughts of middle school students. Good focus on teacher and bystander action. Highly recommended for teacher training and for work with bystanders. Return to Top

Programs

The Olweus Bullying Prevention program in the United States: From Clemson University, Institute on Family and Neighborhood Life Maine (USA) Bullying Prevention Education Program - a state wide research based bullying prevention initiative based on the Olweus Program model SOURCE: http://www.stopbullyingworld.org/Research_W365.cfm