Showing posts with label anti-bullying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anti-bullying. Show all posts

Friday, June 29, 2012

Bullying Prevention and Bully Intervention Mistakes



How would you like it if your Doctor just started operating on your child with no tests, diagnosis or even interview?

This is not only dangerous but could have catastrophic consequences.  I have observed that this is all too common practice among some in the anti-bully movement.  Prescription without diagnosis is a common pitfall that needs to be avoided.  This is also among the reasons of why I do not agree with so called anti-bullying legislation nor school-wide anti-bullying policies as an effectual means to deal with the particular issues involved in bullying.  Although well intentioned, my experience clearly shows that those are backwards approaches to addressing the core issues of bullying and aggressive behavior.

by John D. Nottingham

Bullying 911 - Misdiagnosis
We have to be cautious that we do not treat cases in an overly generalized manner.  In my programs and workshops I emphasize a more individualized approach where diagnosis is key to recommending a course for treatment.

The two most common assumptions are:
1. The child is incapable of self rescue.
2. The child is capable of self rescue.

Preventing Bullying With Wisdom, Training and Compassion
The main emphasis of my programs are to BULLYPROOF or more accurately, victim-proof children with social and safety skills so that they are armed for life.  Doing everything for a child and insulating them from all difficulty is a sure way of disarming them and leaving them vulnerable.  However, sometimes children are in need of specific intervention.  That is why my team and I view it a process of moving from dependence to independence to interdependence.


Bubble Wrapped Kids From Helicopter Parenting?
We don't want to cripple children by doing everything for them and robbing them of the skills and lessons to grow into healthy, productive and functioning individuals.  At the same time, we need to be aware that some children need more help than others.  This is based on the social, safety and individual dynamics of the bullying situation.

If you would like to learn more about our assessment process and bullying prevention training programs, networking or efforts, please feel free to contact me personally at:

 BullyProofVestAZ@gmail.com

John Nottingham, PI, EPS, 6th Degree Master Black Belt
Founder Bullying Prevention Initiative International / Phoenix BullyProof Project
Author: BULLYPROOF YOUR KIDS: How to Handle a Bully Like a Bodyguard

Sponsored by:
Nottingham Sword & Shield Security Bodyguards
USA Martial Arts & Kickboxing
WEBSPECIAL Children's Martial Arts Phoenix
WEBSPECIAL Kickboxing Fight The Fat

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Anti-Bullying Arizona - Justin Bieber, Cody Simpson, Jonas Brothers Stand Against Bullying



Anti-Bully | Stand Against Bullying Day with Cody Simpson & Justin Bieber

School Kids Take Stand Against Bullying
Children and teachers all over Phoenix Arizona are taking a stand against bullying.  Thousands of Phoenix kids are taking part in Stand4Change.org day, an international demonstration for an ant-bullying message.

Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative & USA Martial Arts Phoenix
Spearheaded by The Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative, The Phoenix BullyProof Project and USA Martial Arts Phoenix, students are getting schools and kids on board with this timely message.  On the heels of the recent Lee Hirsch documentary film “BULLY”, the timing couldn’t be better.
Kids are seeing positive role models like Justin Bieber, Cody Simpson, the Jonas Brothers and others take a stand against bullying.  This is a way to raise awareness and get involved in something positive.

Stand 4 Change - Take a Stand Against Bullying
On May 4, 2012 at 12pm EST (9am Phoenix Arizona), students will join participants around the country and stand as a gesture of solidarity to show they are taking a stand against bullying. You can download a flyer at Stand4Change.org to take to your school or stop by USA Martial Arts Phoenix to get more information.


Ken Kragen "We Are The World"
The force behind Stand4Change & Defeat The Label is Ken Kragen, the mastermind behind the 1980′s movement Hands Across America and the “We Are The World” fundraising song.  He has some big plans in the works that include a song, celebrity endorsements and a national media campaign to raise awareness on bullying.
The Stand4Change national press will launch soon. Here is a video already on YouTube.com to share with friends, teachers and administrators if you want to take a leadership role and get it started in your school.

How To Get Involved & Take a Stand Against Bullying
If you are against bullying in schools please repost this so we can get as many people as possible to take part on May 4.

Thinking Globally – Acting Locally
The Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative | The Phoenix BullyProof Project has teamed up with USA Martial Arts & Nottingham Sword & Shield Security to offer a series of follow up bullying prevention training camps and workshops. Contact BullyProofVestAZ@gmail.com for details or to register.

Anti-Bullying Arizona - Justin Bieber, Cody Simpson, Jonas Brothers Stand Against Bullying


Stand4Change Anti-Bully Day Video

Anti-Bully | Stand Against Bullying Day with Cody Simpson & Justin Bieber

School Kids Take Stand Against Bullying
Children and teachers all over Phoenix Arizona are taking a stand against bullying.  Thousands of Phoenix kids are taking part in Stand4Change.org day, an international demonstration for an ant-bullying message.

Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative & USA Martial Arts Phoenix
Spearheaded by The Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative, The Phoenix BullyProof Project and USA Martial Arts Phoenix, students are getting schools and kids on board with this timely message.  On the heels of the recent Lee Hirsch documentary film “BULLY”, the timing couldn’t be better.
Kids are seeing positive role models like Justin Bieber, Cody Simpson, the Jonas Brothers and others take a stand against bullying.  This is a way to raise awareness and get involved in something positive.

Stand 4 Change - Take a Stand Against Bullying
On May 4, 2012 at 12pm EST (9am Phoenix Arizona), students will join participants around the country and stand as a gesture of solidarity to show they are taking a stand against bullying. You can download a flyer at Stand4Change.org to take to your school or stop by USA Martial Arts Phoenix to get more information.

Ken Kragen "We Are The World"
The force behind Stand4Change & Defeat The Label is Ken Kragen, the mastermind behind the 1980′s movement Hands Across America and the “We Are The World” fundraising song.  He has some big plans in the works that include a song, celebrity endorsements and a national media campaign to raise awareness on bullying.
The Stand4Change national press will launch soon. Here is a video already on YouTube.com to share with friends, teachers and administrators if you want to take a leadership role and get it started in your school.

How To Get Involved & Take a Stand Against Bullying
If you are against bullying in schools please repost this so we can get as many people as possible to take part on May 4.
http://youtu.be/qye1U1qv1D4

Thinking Globally – Acting Locally
The Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative | The Phoenix BullyProof Project has teamed up with USA Martial Arts & Nottingham Sword & Shield Security to offer a series of follow up bullying prevention training camps and workshops. Contact BullyProofVestAZ@gmail.com for details or to register.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Bully Movie Review and Commentary from a Bullying Prevention Specialist Part 1


Bully Movie Review and Commentary from a Bullying Prevention Specialist   
Part 1 of 2  
Is Bully The Anti-Bullying Movie Every Teen, Parent and School Teacher Should See?
Last night, April 13th 2012, I went to see the much anticipated ANTI-BULLYING documentary movie "BULLYby award-winning director Lee Hirsch. You may recognize BULLY from the media coverage of the controversy between the MPAA and the Weinstein company over the film's R rating. After some slight editing of some expletives, the rating was eventually changed to PG-13.

BULLY Movie Documentary
I have had numerous requests for my views on the movie since the initial trailer was released. While I was tempted to write the review last night, I opted instead to give it more time to contemplate my blog post. Perhaps you will understand the reason for the delay as you read on.

A Brief Synopsis of Bully
For roughly a year, the documentary filmmaker and director Lee Hirsch follows the lives of five families with children who are experiencing bullying or had experienced bullying. It is an inside look at the gritty world of today's kids in small town America.

Bully's Main Character is a Socially Awkward 12-Year-Old Boy
The subjects of the film include a Sioux City Iowa 12-year-old boy named Alex, an awkward tween who has difficulty making friends and fitting in with his peers. The audience gets a glimpse inside of Alex grueling experience just taking the bus to school each day. Kids are seen hitting, choking, pencil poking, and knocking his head into the back of the bus seat.

 Based on what I saw, this is done in a manner clearly meant to dominate and hurt, but not severely injure (despite how other more sensational accounts have described it). To me it is clearly inter-male social dominance behavior - and Alex has no clue on how to put it into proper context, nor clearly define personal boundaries. It was difficult to watch for many in the audience who were visibly uncomfortable as the images permeated their sheltered reality.

Out and Ostricised Kelby - "Love Thy Neighbor"
Tuttle Oklahama 16-year-old Kelby's story depicts a lesbian girl suffering from ostracism and intolerance from people she has known her whole life.  BULLY shows her courageously attempting to change the social climate and attitudes toward her and the supportive role her family plays in her difficult situation.  Ultimately, her family decides to remove her from this school in order to help their daughter.

A Girl Pulls a Gun on a School Bus
Bully also shows the plight of a 14-year-old girl who brandished a gun on a school bus after claiming she had been relentlessly bullied. Actual video footage was used from the incident where the girl, clearly emulating gangster-like violence, points the gun sideways in the air and barks orders. I heard two different whispered comments from Scottsdale moviegoers as they recognized that a "14 year old girl had a tattoo on her arm". I found that interesting.

Lack of Alternatives - The Peace Education Conflict Avoidance Vacuum
What I know about teaching peace education and self defense is that when you deny children appropriate force options and coping mechanisms some will resort to whatever means they can to regain some sense of control. If you are sincerely interested in the subject I would recommend reading a book by one of my mentors called Stop Teaching Our Kids To Kill by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman. (No violent video games before age 8 - research clearly shows that it changes brain chemistry.) "Garbage in - garbage out" my Mom always used to say.

Heart-Wrenching Themes May Be Intense for Young Viewers
The movie also takes on two tragic accounts of families dealing with their child's suicide and implies a direct link to bullying (more on that later). Hirsch reveals the gut-wrenching story of Murray County Georgia parents Tina and David Long who lost their son to suicide. The 17 year old was told by kids at school that he should go home and hang himself - and he did. Mother Tina takes viewers on a tour of the room and closet where the tragic event took place and explains how the room now serves as headquarters for a campaign to keep Tyler's memory alive and bring attention to the issue of bullying.

The other story reveals the grief and devastation of a child's suicide and the vacuous wake left in these parent's lives. Their pain is captured in such an utterly raw manner, the audience is easily drawn into the film and their tragic story. The message I got from it had more to do with the tragedy of teen suicide rather than a causal relationship to bullying.
 
The connection was not clearly made to my way satisfaction and I would advise caution in making such judgments. I'll come back to this later to discuss my concern with this portrayal and its link to child safety. For now, I'll defer to psychologists on this one as I that is not my area of expertise, nor have I seen the research to make such connection. I just hope that the film maker is not exploiting these parents in their time of greatest grief.

My heart and prayers go out to the family in this time of unimaginable grief and loss.

Join USA Martial Arts Phoenix & The Phoenix BullyProof Project
 and Take a Stand Against Bullying Stand4Change.org

Poignant Example of Denial and Covering Incompetence?
Based on Hirsch's editing, the administration, in particular the assistant principal of Alex's middle school, comes off as particularly inept and more interested in defending the staff's position and choices of action. As with most independent film documentaries, one must take this with a grain of salt. However, those who have suffered bullying may be able to identify as I did with this pathetic cover-your-butt approach found in failed leadership.
One of the good things that independent films like this can do is to prompt and provoke. Hopefully it can lead to discussions and the need for putting things into context, the importance of accountability, empathy and compassion.

Personal Stories Tug at Heart Strings
BULLY reveals the feelings of helplessness and powerlessness from those who lack fundamental safety skills and appropriate answers. Those in my field know that this goes on all the time because we see the children and parents who have fallen through the cracks.  For others, this may just be the right kind of timely wake-up call to spark some positive action.

Should I Take My Child To See Bully?
I would advise parents seeing this movie first to know if it is right for their child. In my view, it would depend on the child's personality, maturity and how they handle themes of suicide, aggressive behavior, crass language, threats and so on. It would also depend on the parent's ability to put it into context so they do not overly generalize and can extract relevant themes or lessons.

Is Bully OK for Younger Children?
For younger children, you might wait until they are a bit older and choose to rent it and have a family discussion.
I think a parent needs to clearly define the goal of watching such a film and have a meaningful discussion before and after viewing it, should they decide it is right for their child. For some kids, it may be a wake-up call and a catalyst for healthy discussion - especially those in middle school and high school. BULLY could be used as a tool to encourage empathy and a hero culture.

Open Communication at Home is Better Bullying Prevention
It is important that children feel safe to share experiences, have their own views without judgement or overreaction from parents. From the feedback I get directly from children, they say one of the biggest reasons they don't tell their parents things is that Mom and Dad over react.  Kids sometimes feel that the parents will make it worse.  Keep in mind that trust is built over time.  A calm approach with a heart to listen without trying to immediately advise is the key to communication and a trusted relationship with your child.  Seeking first to understand, empathize and walk in your child's shoes so to speak can go a long way in opening doors to talking about difficult subjects.

Part 2 
 
Taking The Perspective of a Bullying Prevention Specialist and Professional Protector
For the remainder of the BULLY movie article I wanted to take on the review more from the perspective of a professional protector and bullying specialist. My hope is to offer some thought provoking points to consider, and some opinions rather than just a simple film review...
___________________________
Want to BullyProof Your Child?
Bring Them To BullyProof Vest Academy
Email: BullyProofVestAZ@gmail.com
___________________________

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Bullied Boy Transforms From Victim to Victor

Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative
The Phoenix Bullying Prevention Project
Zachary Jameson felt "tortured" from his bullying experience.  Although he attended a private school and his father is a Police Officer, this tween felt the world caving in on him.

Diagnosed with Juevenile Arthritis, kids at his Atlanta school made fun of his legs.  Initially his parents were dismissive of the teasing thinking it was only kids trying to be funny.  It wasn't funny to Zach because he was contemplating suicide.

However this story has a different ending than many we've been seeing in the news.  Zach had the courage to tell his parents what he was feeling, resulting in a chain of events that would change his life for the better.

We at BullyProofing Phoenix believe that Zach's story stands as an example of hope and inspiration to parents, teachers, schools and children.

While the politically motivated "anti-bully" movement marches on in failure with the divisive, punitive approach and demonize children as bullies, other bullying prevention methods continue to prove successful.

Note the elements of a successful intervention, an example of my 3 Shields Strategy, in which the child targeted with bullying gets therapy, the bullying child is addressed and the social environment is transformed.   For long term success, the mind, body and spirit must be addressed.  Amid the noise of sensationalized media headlines, tragic alarmism, BPII/PBPP aim to bring you hope, truth, and clarity to help resolve the causes of bullying.
God bless you Zach and thank you for having the courage to accept help, tell your parents, and not give up.  You may be targeted with bullying but you do not have to be a permanent victim of it.  We would encourage you to study martial arts and build confidence, inner strength and additional skills to feel empowered to handle the challenges of the future.  You're worth fighting for and we know your story can inspire hope in others suffering in silence.

If you are being bullied like Zach was and need help, we want to help.  Visit us on facebook or email us at info@usa-martialarts.com and we'll provide you with bodyguard tools to keep you safe and give you peace of mind.

Transforming Hearts and Minds With Peace Education
Empathy | Kindness | Compassion | Inner-Strength | Dignity 




Community Partners in Peace Education


Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Practical Bully Prevention and Victim Proof Training


“How To Make Sure Your Child Doesn't Get Bullied, Harassed, Teased or Picked On.”

March 13, 2011

How To Protect Yourself From Bullying – Unconventional Bullying Advice



Former Soldier, Bodyguard Trainer and Martial Arts Master Shares His 5 Step Program That Will Boost Your Child’s Confidence, Instill Inner-Strength, a Positive Attitude & Arm Them the Practical Tools to Protect Themselves from Bullying, Harassment and Teasing

Dear Arizona Parent:

Did You Know:

• Bullying is the #1 cause of school children’s absenteeism in the U.S.A.
• Bullying has been linked to higher rates of teen depression and suicide.
• Rigby (2002), who is a respected researcher on the topic of bullying, nationally and internationally, states:
• “Bullying involves a desire to hurt + hurtful action + a power imbalance + (typically) repetition + an unjust use of power + evident enjoyment by the aggressor and generally a sense of being oppressed on the part of the victim.” (p 51)
• Every day, 160,000 students skip school because they fear being bullied, according to the PACER Center, a parent training and information center for families of children. According to the National Association of School Psychologists,
• 1 in 7 schoolchildren is a bully or victim
• Bullying affects 5 million school children in U.S.
You may be thinking to yourself, “Do I know the techniques, tools and strategies to help my child confront today’s bullying dangers?
Don’t worry – there IS a solution – but before I get to it, let me tell you a story about a boy who was the target of a bully and how it changed his life forever…

SKINNY, UN-ATHLETIC ASTHMATIC
KID TORMENTED BY A BULLY

• His father told him to punch the bully right in the nose to “teach him a lesson”.
• His mother told him to just walk away.
• His teachers never knew about it because the bullying took place out of their sight, and often off school grounds, on the way to or from school.
He didn’t want to tell on the bullying kid because he would feel weak, like a sissy, only inviting more trouble.
He was afraid of getting in trouble for fighting, calling attention to his problem. But far more than that was the pain of keeping the secret. The secret was that he was scared, frustrated and felt trapped. That anger turned inward turned into feeling depressed as the bullying kept up over time.
But that all changed. He found a way:
• To stand tall, walk proud and keep his dignity
• Stand up to the bully
• To defeat a bully without fighting
In fact, he earned the respect of the bully and his classmates
Most importantly, he felt better about himself
Plus he used the lesson many more times in the future

BY STANDING UP TO THE BULLYING, HE WON SELF-RESPECT AND HIS NEW POWER HELPED HIM HELP OTHERS

Yes, as you probably guessed, that boy was me. Today I use those experiences to relate to other kids facing bullying in their lives. You see, I’ve helped thousands of children find their inner strength, their voice and successfully learn how to deal with bullying, conflicts and the most dangerous situations.

My name is John Nottingham and I am a 6th Degree Black Belt in the Martial Arts. I’ve trained in China, Korea and all over the world with some of the best of the best. I was in the Army Airborne and taught some of the roughest, toughest heroes in the world hand-to-hand, hand-to-weapon military combatives while serving in a Special Forces reserve unit.

Today I own a Executive Bodyguard Security and Training Company, and an award winning Martial Arts school. Over the past twenty five plus years, I have helped thousands of people from all walks of life discover their inner strength and stand up for themselves in every aspect of their lives.

From children who were getting tormented school to women feeling trapped in unhealthy relationships; from employees being mistreated by their bosses to Police and Security who have to use their skills daily on the streets. Not standing up for yourself from bullying can be just like a toxin that attacks your self concept and destroys dreams, hope and goals from the inside out.

THERE IS HOPE! I CAN HELP
I’ve developed a 5 step program to help you:
1. Build your child’s self esteem
2. Learn to handle unfair aggression
3. Flip the balance of power
4. Learn what to say and do and when to do it
5. Know how to spot a “bullying set up” well in advance so you can avoid it

VICTIM AND BULLY PROOFING
This unique method is not one of those ineffective “Ivory Tower” programs you’ll see from educational institutions. The schools that have had us there see the results because it works. Our Bullying Prevention Program isn’t theory or idealistic wishes. We give you hard-hitting tools, some of them the same strategies we teach to bodyguards who protect VIPs and celebrities! We’ll we think you are a VIP and are worth protecting.

To cut through the bullying dilema The Arizona Bullying Intervention Initiative – AZ Children’s Bully Prevention Project is working with Nottingham Sword and Shield Security and USA Martial Arts Phoenix to offer a series of bullying solutions – Victim-Bully Proof Workshops. Free Bully Prevention “5 Step How to Handle a Bully Without Fighting” training is being sponsored FREE to all Arizona Children.
What: How to Handle a Bully Without Fighting
When: 5-6pm Wednesdays during the month of March
Where: at USA Martial Arts Phoenix Tatum/Greenway Albertsons center
How much: Fully sponsored by Nottingham Sword & Shield Security, ScottsdaleBodyguard.com, KidsLoveMartialArtsPhoenix.com and USA Martial Arts Phoenix
How: Contact info@usa-martialarts.com or call (602) 896-8721 to register. Limited space available.



BULLY PROOF VEST by John Nottingham, USA Martial Arts, The Arizona Bullying Prevention Project.
The only bullying prevention program designed by protection professionals.

The Arizona Bullying Intervention Initiative | AZ Bully Prevention Projecthttp://bullyproofingarizona.blogspot.com/
4731 e. Greenway road suite 9 phoenix, arizona 85032
Telephone (602) 896-8721
USA Martial Arts Phoenix
Nottingham Sword & Shield Security Bodyguards

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Bust a Bully - Use The 5 F's To Make Yourself Bully Proof

Bully Busters Anti-Bully
 Radio Interview http://Phoenix-MartialArts.com/blog


The 5 F's For Teens Fighting Back Against Bullying_____________
Five Techniques for How To Handle Bullying 
by John Nottingham, founder Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative -The Phoenix BullyProof Project | USAMartial Arts Phoenix 

Here are some fundamental skills and strategies for the initial stages of handling bullying or aggressively rude behavior.  How you handle the little things can sometimes go a long way in derailing future abuse and bullying targeting.

1. Friend
One of the most powerful ways to handle bullying is to master the art of making friends. Treat others the way you want to be treated, even when they may not be so nice.  The old saying goes, "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."  This can be a great way to resolve issues with aggression in the early stages.  Of course, if it has gone beyond this level, you may have to resort to other options but making friends is a very powerful skill to thwart bullying.

Verbal Judo Comeback Line: "Whoah, stop. If a teacher hears you talking like that you'll be in a lot of trouble and I don't want to see that. So let's just be friends and chill." (Adapt to age appropriate vernacular and language you are comfortable with.)   
STOP BULLYING TIP:  Remember: it's not just what you say, it's how you say it so body language, tone and delivery are critical to making it work.  Stand tall, square shoulders, maintain direct eye contact, raise chin slightly and end with a smile.  Speak with a calm, confident tone as if you are a compassionate, powerful leader.
Be a friend and speak up for others as well.  Win more friends and they might also speak up for you when needed.  The person with the most friends usually wins.  Seek common ground and learn to respect differences and others right to his or her own opinion.

To fight fire, be water.  That doesn't mean it is your fault or that you are weaker. It means that peace in the long term is more important to you than winning a short term battle.  Kindness kills cruelty and bullying sometimes and should be a first line of defense.  Look for ways to earn respect, show your strengths and be helpful and understanding of others needs and goals.  At the same time, remember that nobody has the right to injure you.  Kindness does not mean weakness - instead it is a strength found in leaders and difference makers.  

2. Forget
Forget about reacting emotionally to bullying taunts or tests.  Most bullying behavior is just testing different people to see who reacts.  Be quick to forget insults, comments, flaws and issues.  Think of it as a trap and you don't have to take the bait.

If you can learn to forgive people and have empathy for them, it can go a long way in helping you think more clearly about your responses and the kind of person you want to be.  By not reacting emotionally to a situation, you can plan and even practice your responses to handle things better.  By starving the person of a reaction, you can very often stop ongoing bullying behavior.

Be quick to forget other people's rudeness and even cruel remarks.  Think of it as a gift that you do not have to receive.  "Thanks for the thought, but no thanks - I won't accept."  Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, even you. The most important opinion you have is the one about yourself.  


Forget about revenge because that usually makes things worse.  Instead be so busy working on improving yourself that you don't have time to worry about the other stuff as much.  
Forget feeling alone, helpless or forever stuck... that's a lie that will only hurt you.  Instead reach out for help and keep asking until you get it. You are worth it.

3. Forgive 
Have empathy for the other person and understand that we all make mistakes and do things we wish we hadn't.  If you can be quick to forgive and show kindness, it can go a long way in showing your inner strength and earning respect.  They may not like you, but when you can be a rock in a storm, it earns the respect of others.
Remember also that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself that facilitates healing and releases you from being stuck in the pain.  With forgiveness, you can begin to move forward intelligently.  It can really help to talk to a counselor or trusted advisory to do this work.  
Also remember that to forgive is not to forget.  Take the lessons you learned from the situation and apply it for future use. 

4. Funny
Humor is one of your most powerful allies.  A clever comeback line can win over a crowd, distract someone bullying and even help you make friends.  It is a power that most people admire and want to have.  Humor has the power to heal and help awkward situations.  Humor is a great tool that you can use by practicing bullying comeback lines.  Just make sure that the humor is not at the expense of the other person or you could make things worse.  The goal with using humor to combat bullying is to make it better.
Remember also to take your safety seriously but never yourself too seriously.  Learn to laugh at yourself a bit and celebrate what makes us all human in our shared experiences.  Showing you can laugh at yourself is also a sign of strength that others admire. It does not have to be at the expense of your dignity and can be quite disarming to bullying behavior.
Being funny is also a deflector that shifts bullying energy away from you and can buy you time to get help or get to safety.

5.  Frame
One of my favorite sayings is,"You may not be able to change the wind but you can adjust your sails."  Sometimes bad things happen.  When they do we are faced with a choice to let that define us in a negative way or turn it into something powerful and positive.  Be willing to get and accept the help you need to re-frame your experiences into lessons you can use. Maybe you can focus on what you are grateful for and how you can help others with what you learned.  Good things can come from bad situations if we choose to make it so.  
Anthony Robbins puts it this way, "“Fairness is an illusion. ... , “Some people are buried in an avalanche and others ski."  You give meaning to your life experiences through the stories that you tell yourself.   That doesn't make it all your fault or mean that you are alone, just the opposite, it is just one way to let you know you don't have to stay a victim of circumstances and you are worth fighting for.  It can get better and if you look hard enough, you'll find plenty of people willing to help you.

Sometimes middle school aged children and even grade school children can learn how to use some of these tools with the guidance of a caring counselor, parent, coach or mentor.  However, these concepts take a bit more maturity to grasp and implement so it depends on the individual and his or her development.

Visit Bullying Prevention Initiative International - Bullying Prevention World
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For more help, ideas, strategies and techniques of bullying prevention join us online for free resources, research and discussion.

Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative The Phoenix Bully Proof Project FACEBOOK
Bully Proof Arizona BLOG
Bullying Prevention Initiative International FACEBOOK
Bullying Prevention World BLOG
For a free radio interview with Bully Busting tips click here

BullyProof camps, workshops and guides - email BullyProofVestAZ@gmail.com for info.

Sponsored in part by:
Nottingham Sword & Shield Bodyguards
JohnNottingham.com

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Waging Peace on Bullying - How To Beat Bullying The Bodyguard Way



Listen to Our Director and Founder
John Nottingham Discuss the Anti-Bully Program on the
Outreach Today Radio Show


Bullying is getting a lot of attention these days.  Each week new headlines are circulating in the media about bullying related topics.  From anti-bullying, bullying prevention and new options, one voice seems to be standing out among all the noise.  

Waging Peace on Bullying
A new organization developed by bodyguards, martial arts Masters, teachers and child safety experts is training children to resolve conflicts without fighting.
On the heels of recent media reports of bullying, cyber bullying related teen suicide, and abuse, some parents are taking steps to prepare their children for the dangers they face in school and life.
How to cross a street, the 911 emergency/fire safety system, how to swim, parents are now adding sexual abuse prevention, self-defense from depression, obesity, diabetes and BULLYING.
They are doing this through USA Martial Arts in Phoenix Arizona.


BULLYING FACTS:
  • Bullying is the most common form of violence in American society according to the National Association of School Psychologists.
  • Bullying affects 15 to 30 percent of students as either bullying child or the targets of bullying
  • Studies have shown that adults who were bullied as children have a much higher level of depression and lower self-esteem than those who were not.

While you may think that your child's school is taking bullying seriously, the statistics show that over 85% or higher of bullying incidences go unreported. Many more incidences of bullying take place before, after or while children are not in school. Despite these laudable efforts to curb bullying, they do not always deflect and defend bullying attacks. That is precisely where bodyguard and law enforcement trainer John Nottingham comes in.

Nottingham, an Army Airborne Veteran who served in a Special Forces unit and trained elite soldiers in hand to hand combat, has gone on to teach law enforcement and bodyguards. He has used his knowledge of advanced threat assessment, verbal judo and non-confrontation approach to develop a specialized BULLY PREVENTION TRAINING & SELF DEFENSE organization called The Bullying Prevention Initiative International with a local chapter here in Phoenix.

I started the program having successfully taught bullying prevention for over 25 years. I was glad to see the Olweus system being taught in many schools here in Arizona but concerned for the lack of training on force appropriate physical intervention skills. 

BULLYING STATISTIC OVER 85% OF BULLYING GOES UNREPORTED 

I want parents and teachers to have options to teach their children or students.
We cover the full spectrum and teach different skills than other programs offer. I didn't agree with the approaches that infringe on free speech or that do not adequately address violence, off campus bullying and other safety concerns. Our programs draw on protective tactics used by professional protectors – bodyguards.
Starting with The Arizona Bullying Intervention Initiative, Nottingham trained his staff and students at his USA Martial Arts school in Phoenix and conducted public speaking engagements, school assemblies and teacher training. His programs have caught on and requests came in to share his unique bully busting methodologies.

Nottingham then created the Bullying Prevention Initiative International to support those interested in the bullying prevention mission. One of his more popular programs is called "Bully Proof Vest" prepares children of varying ages to deal with bullying as well as other safety issues they might face such as abductions and abuse.

His courses emphasize avoidance, de-escalation and deterrence tactics that help children develop social assertiveness and confidence. The skills range from verbal tactics to force appropriate physical self-defense techniques to escape to safety and mitigate abuse.

Nottingham's "Bully Proof Vest" self-defense and escape school course gives children confidence to resolve self-defense and safety issues both in and out of the classroom (where most of the bullying and abuse take place, out of the view of teachers).

Bullying is one of the most difficult issues that students, parents and educators might encounter in or out of school. However, with our strategies, we can make a difference.

The Bullying Prevention Initiative International strives to offer the most practical and effective bullying prevention program available.

Learn more about bullying, how to prevent or resolve it, and more about the Bullying Prevention Initiative International organization or the Arizona chapter Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative.

Protect your children with bullying prevention skills and strategies by contacting USA Martial Arts Phoenix and a certified bully prevention specialist to inquire about upcoming seminars based on the Bullying Prevention Initiative International programs. info@usa-martialarts.com 602-896-8721

http://bullyingpreventionworld.wordpress.com/
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bullying-Prevention-Initiative-International/240455266014141
http://phoenix-martialarts.com/blog/

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

School Wide Bullying Prevention Programs Failing




Chances are that your children are being taught some form of anti-bullying or bullying prevention program in their school.  You may have been invited to a special school assembly, had a motivational speaker or fortunate enough to have an actual protector teach.  Most likely, you are seeing elements of the Olweus Bullying Prevention system or some similar academic approach.  But do they work?

Parents continue to bring their children to my martial arts school because they are frustrated with bullying problems with their child.  They are often exasperated, having gone to the school, spoke to the teachers, administration and cannot find a resolution.

I also am receiving more and more calls and emails about our bullying prevention programs and training methods from martial arts school owners, teachers and administrators frustrated with their current bullying prevention program results.

Read some of my thoughts and see current research on the effectiveness or ineffectiveness of the school-wide bullying prevention programs in many school systems.

Common Anti-Bulling or Strategies to Prevent Bullying From School-Wide Bullying Prevention Programs

· Avoid bullies and where they hang out
· Act and look confident
· Be observant
· Tell your friends
· Tell many adults
· Be assertive
· Stay calm
· Keep a safe distance
· Walk away
· Say “Stop it!”
· Say “Leave me alone!”
· Say “Whatever!”
· Use humor
· Use “I messages” – “I do not like to be treated this way.”
· Travel in a group
· If you’re in danger, RUN

On the surface, this list, quite common to most anti-bullying rhetoric, looks good and helpful.  What is not revealed to you is what puts children at risk.  Do you see it?

Do you know why so many people are still having problems with bullying even after these anti-bullying programs are put into your child's school?

Learn more.  Listen to a free radio interview with Bullying Prevention Specialist John Nottingham

If you don't see the primary safety problem with the above information, I urge you right now to take action and visit our blogs.  We'll share with you how most anti-bullying and bullying prevention programs inadvertently miss the mark and unnecessarily put children at risk for being victims.  But don't worry, there is hope and we have proven strategies for dealing with bullying, harassment and aggressive behavior.  We've been doing it successfully for over twenty six years and can help you too.

In a short time, you will be able to easily spot the reason's those popular anti-bullying programs are failing children.  You can be part of the solution and give children hope.

John Nottingham's Bully Proof Vest
The Phoenix Bullying Prevention Project
The Arizona Bullying Intervention InitiativeBullying Prevention Initiative International
Sponsored by: USA Martial Arts & Kickboxing Phoenix, Nottingham Sword & Shield Security Bodyguards


Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Phoenix Martial Arts Teacher and Bodyguard Battles Bullying in Arizona



John Nottingham says he started the Arizona Bullying Initiative | AZ Bully Prevention Project to address several growing issues. Schools, parents and teachers are seeking Nottingham's unique program to address the issues of school violence, bullying and how to resolve conflicts peacefully. But before you think he is all about kicking and punching, you might be surprised to find out this former soldier is promoting peace in an entertaining way.

The premise of our program is providing effective tools to protect children. Our foundation is a wise martial arts philosophy, "The battle avoided cannot be lost."

Nottingham is a military, bodyguard and law enforcement trainer in addition to teaching over 10,000 students in his career. This former Army Airborne soldier who served in a Special Forces unit outlines the reasons for developing his unique bullying prevention and school violence program.

BULLY PROOF VEST - How To Deal With Bullying Without Fighting
The Arizona Bullying Intervention Initiative | The AZ Bullying Prevention Project

1. The need for evidence based bullying training (bullying is a characterization of human conflict and behavior). Most of the bullying prevention programs are NOT developed by professional protectors (security, bodyguards, etc.). Why? This fact makes our program very different.

2. To address the facts of the issue and cut through the political movements efforts to sensationalize certain aspects of it, robbing people of peace-of-mind and confusing them with misguided, although well-intentioned, and well packaged information.

3. I disagree with the "Anti-bully" effort. Our research indicates that it is causing more harm than good in some cases. I've been posting blog articles about it. I don't believe in vilifying children. Our approach is pro-children. We advocate a different approach. Denial is never a good safety strategy. "Make the bullies go away" is like wishing all criminals magically disappeared to the land of gumdrops, unicorns and rainbows.

4. I believe we are the only group combining bodyguard (security) strategies with the life skills wisdom of martial arts and social skills to address bullying behavior. I've integrated my skills as an advanced threat assessment specialist into my program.

3 Pronged Approach treats:
1. The targeted child of bullying -making them a "harder" less desirable target. Taking them off the bullying child's radar.
2. The bullying child. Statistically, this child is likely to have been bullied and needs treatment.
3. The bystander and social environment enabling the bullying behavior and process.

The major issue with most "school based" or academic programs is that it relies heavily on the school staff. Most of them are already overburdened and ill equipped to handle violence as we have seen in recent history.  We know that most bullying takes place when the teachers are not around. Bullying children choose the times when teachers aren't present... the school bus stop, the transition points without supervision. Isolation and control are the setting for abuse. The other times the social group is part of bullying, enabling it. We arm children with the skills to be prepared for such times.

The second major issue with the school based programs is that they are so fearful of liability (a very real concern) that they NEVER address the physical intervention skills needed to protect a child's life. They instead abdicate or ignore it all together. This is endangers a child.

Our 5 Step Approach teaches a complete approach to:
Here are the concepts, not the steps:

  • Detect 
  • Deter 
  • De-escalate/Diffuse 
  • Defend (with appropriate force - just enough to escape) 

John Nottingham's BULLY PROOF VEST Bully Solutions and Protection Program
http://usamartialartshq.blogspot.com/2011/03/phoenix-arizona-children-get-bully.html
http://usamartialartshq.blogspot.com/2011/03/unconventional-bullying-prevention.html
http://usamartialarts.wordpress.com/2011/02/24/arizona-bully-prevention-teacher-launches-bullying-initiative/

Here is the blog dedicated to the subject of bullying in Arizona. Parents, teachers and children can find information, statistics and resources to arm them with knowledge and techniques to successfully deal with bullying.
http://bullyproofingarizona.blogspot.com/

Bully Proof Vest - Bully Solutions Workshop
Free Bully / Victim Proofing workshop every Wednesday for this entire month of March at USA Martial Arts Phoenix at Tatum & Greenway in Phoenix/Scottsdale/PV at 5pm on Wednesday nights. To register, simply email info@usa-martialarts.com or call 602-896-8721. It's fully sponsored by Nottingham Sword & Shield Security/ScottdsdaleBodyguard.com and USA Martial Arts Phoenix.