Tuesday, March 15, 2011

How Parents Can Talk To Their Children About Bullying

5 Steps Talking With Your Kids About Bullying, Bullies, Harassment & Being Tormented

Bullying Is Serious - But There are Bullying Solutions
Bullying can be a painful experience and if the bullying situation is left untreated, it can have significant detrimental effects for a child. Here are five tips to open a dialog with your child to discuss bullying and how they can prevent bullying behavior towards themselves or others.

Different Kinds of Bullying

Source: http://library.thinkquest.org/07aug/00117/typesbullying.html

1. Physical bullying

In elementary and middle schools, 30.5% of all bullying is physical.

2. Verbal bullying is name-calling, making offensive remarks, or joking about a person's religion, gender, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, or the way they look. 46.5% of all bullying in schools is the verbal type. Verbal aggression is when a bully teases someone. It can also include a bully making verbal threats of violence or aggression against someone's personal property.

3. Indirect bullying includes spreading rumors or stories about someone, telling others about something that was told to you in private, and excluding others from groups. Indirect bullying accounts for 18.5% of all bullying.

4. Social alienation is when a bully excludes someone from a group on purpose. It also includes a bully spreading rumors, and also making fun of someone by pointing out their differences.

5. Intimidation is when a bully threatens someone else and frightens that person enough to make him or her do what the bully wants.

6. Cyberbullying is done by sending messages, pictures, or information using electronic media, computers (email & instant messages), or cell phones (text messaging & voicemail). For instance, if you sent a picture of a snake in an email to a person because you know that they are afraid of snakes, that would be an example of cyberbullying. According to a survey done in 2003 only 4% of bullying is listed as "other types" and this would include cyberbullying. Even though this number seems small, the growth of this type of bullying is going up fast because of the spread of technology around the world.*

Bullying, Harassment, Violence, Hitting, Kicking, Pinching, Punching, Slapping, Tripping, Shoving, Isolating, Name-calling, hurtful words, insults, exclusion, rumors,

The first step is learning a little bit about youth violence, cyber bullying and other forms of harassment. You can find lots of resources online or at the Arizona Bully Proof Training blog. Remember that there are different types of bullying.

The next step is sharing with your child about your experiences as a child and emphasizing how it made you feel. This can be a great way to open the door to allow your child to express his or her feelings with you.

Open dialog: communicate hope and perspective so they learn that it is safe, good and smart to learn to ask for help and guidance. "Never keep quiet about bullying. Your silence is the bullies strength."
Listen without judgment so they feel safe talking to you and other authority figures who can help
Teach empathy so they can become self aware and improve emotional intelligence
Play "what if" so they can make positive safety choices
Encourage noble behavior so they will step in, step up and help others being bullied

We would like to invite you to consider taking martial arts with your child with our amazing family program. You will build lots of magical memories and have quality time doing something healthy, fun and learning a skill.

Families Who Kick Together Stick Together!

* Source: http://library.thinkquest.org/07aug/00117/typesbullying.html

Friday, March 11, 2011

How To Protect Yourself From Bullying - Unconventional Bullying Advice

http://bullyproofingarizona.blogspot.com/

“How to Effectively Bully and Victim Proof Your Child”

Former Soldier and Martial Arts Master Shares His 5 Step Program That Will Catapult Your Child’s Confidence, Instill an “I-Can” Attitude & Provide Them the Practical Tools to Protect Themselves from Bullies

Dear Arizona Parent:

You may have read about it, but according to the Center for Disease Control:

Bullying is the #1 cause of school children's absenteeism in the U.S.A.
Bullying has been linked to higher rates of teen depression and suicide.
Rigby (2002), who is a respected researcher on the topic of bullying, nationally and internationally, states:
“Bullying involves a desire to hurt + hurtful action + a power imbalance + (typically) repetition + an unjust use of power + evident enjoyment by the aggressor and generally a sense of being oppressed on the part of the victim.” (p 51)
Every day, 160,000 students skip school because they fear being bullied, according to the PACER Center, a parent training and information center for families of children. According to the National Association of School Psychologists,
- 1 in 7 schoolchildren is a bully or victim
- Bullying affects 5 million school children in U.S.

You may be thinking to yourself, "Do I know the techniques, tools and strategies to help my child confront today's bullying dangers?

Don’t worry – there IS a solution - but before I get to it, let me tell you a story about a boy who was the target of a bully and how it changed his life forever…

Skinny, Un-Athletic Asthmatic

Tormented by a Bully

His father told him to punch the bully right in the nose to "teach him a lesson".
His mother told him to just walk away.
His teachers never knew about it because the bullying took place out of their sight, and often off school grounds, on the way to or from school.

He didn't want to tell on the bullying kid because he would feel weak, like a sissy, only inviting more trouble.

He was afraid of getting in trouble for fighting, calling attention to his problem. But far more than that was the pain of keeping the secret. The secret was that he was scared, frustrated and felt trapped. That anger turned inward turned into feeling depressed as the bullying kept up over time.

But that all changed. He found a way:

To stand tall, walk proud and keep his dignity
Stand up to the bully
To defeat a bully without fighting
In fact, he earned the respect of the bully and his classmates
Most importantly, he felt better about himself
Plus he used the lesson many more times in the future

By Standing Up to the Bullying, He Won Self-Respect and His New Power Helped Him Help Others

Yes, as you probably guessed, that boy was me. Today I use those experiences to relate to other kids facing bullying in their lives. You see, I've helped thousands of children find their inner strength, their voice and successfully learn how to deal with bullying, conflicts and the most dangerous situations.

My name is John Nottingham and I am a 6th Degree Black Belt in the Martial Arts. I've trained in China, Korea and all over the world with some of the best of the best. I also served in the Army Airborne and taught some of the roughest, toughest heroes in the world hand-to-hand, hand-to-weapon military combatives while serving in a Special Forces reserve unit.

Today I own a Executive Bodyguard Security and Training Company, am a licensed Private Investigator and an award winning Martial Arts school. Over the past twenty five plus years, I have helped thousands of people from all walks of life discover their inner strength and stand up for themselves in every aspect of their lives.

From children who were getting tormented school to women feeling trapped in unhealthy relationships; from employees being mistreated by their bosses to Police and Security who have to use their skills daily on the streets. Not standing up for yourself from bullying can be just like a toxin that attacks your self concept and destroys dreams, hope and goals from the inside out.

There Is Hope! I Can Help.

I've developed a 5 step program to help you:

1. Build your self esteem

2. Learn to handle unfair agression

3. Flip the balance of power

4. Learn what to say and do and WHEN to do it

5. Know how to spot a "Bullying Set Up" well in advance so you can avoid it

Victim and Bully Proofing

This unique method is not one of those "Ivory Tower" programs you'll see from educational institutions. The schools that have had us there SEE the results because it works. Our Bullying Prevention program isn't theory or idealistic wishes. We give you hard-hitting tools, some of them the same strategies we teach to bodyguards who protect VIPs! We'll we think YOU are a VIP and are worth protecting.