What To Do When Bullying Finds You - Bullying Defense Tips For Parents and Teachers

Feeling Bullied?
An opposite approach the the institutionally administered so called anti-bully movement.
Inside Out Instead of Top Down - Methods That ACTUALLY WORK!

What Do You Do When Bullying Finds You or Your Child?
Great question.  Among the myriad of self proclaimed experts and well intentioned amateurs offering advice it may be difficult to wade through the sea of responses and find what works for you or your child.

Parents and Teachers...

BULLYING FACTS:

• Bullying is the most common form of violence in American society according to the National Association of School Psychologists.
• Bullying affects 15 to 30 percent of students as either bullying child or the targets of bullying
• Studies have shown that adults who were bullied as children have a much higher level of depression and lower self-esteem than those who were not.

1. Investigate.

Prescription without diagnosis can lead to increasing problems and complexity, exacerbating the problems rather than solving them.
Is the child teachable and capable of self help?  Perhaps guiding them through the process with options is the best course of action.  What are the roles of the teacher, administration, parents, friends and social climate?  What are the emotional and social skill levels of the individuals involved?
How can we work to improve resiliency factors, dignity and peace of mind of the child?
Above all, reassure the child that you believe them, will listen and help them make the situation better.

2. Separate facts from fiction and judgmental opinion.

Jumping to conclusions, labeling "bully" or demonizing are proven to be failed approaches.  Rather than label, seek first to understand the dynamics, history, individual dynamics and keep an open mind to the totality of reality and the contributing factors.
Use wisdom, compassion, empathy and reassurance without the blame game.  Responding with wisdom is more powerful and helpful than reacting with simple emotion.

3. Encourage empathy and dignity for all parties at every step.  

Avoid demonizing, labeling and other escalating behaviors.  Reassure the individuals that you understand the pain and acknowledge it.  However, try to help them understand that they are empowered with expanded points of view and that forgiveness has more power than revenge.   Anger is OK as long as it moves us in a more positive and helpful position.  Anger just needs to be directed in a productive direction.  It does not help to dwell on it for too long.
Focus on solutions and the desired outcome, rather than the past hurts and actions.  Revenge focuses on the past.  Peace is focuses on the future.  This doesn't mean to diminish the pain or injury, nor ignore it.  It simply means to address it appropriately and not let it hold you back.

4. Collaborate with teachers, counselors, and parents for a win-win solution.

Begin to look at the resources available and see everyone as on the same team of desiring a positive outcome.  Look for ways to make it a teachable moment and seek the best available long-term outcome.  An empowered child who feels happy and secure is much better than a child empowered with pseudo-celebrity from attention grabbing victim-hood.  Being a perpetual victim is not a wise life-choice.  We may not always be able to control what happens to us, however, wise and powerful individuals choose how they react to those circumstances.  Share true stories which exemplify overcoming odds and difficult situations while retaining dignity.

5. Educate, train and prepare the individual for the future.

When we see these conflicts as opportunities for teachable moments, we change the dynamics significantly.  Sometimes, children who demonstrate aggressive behaviors are at risk at home, abused or simply neglected.
Children who are passive, often believing they are being nice, have no idea that they are making themselves soft targets and positioned for repeated abuse, and not just with bullying.  Instead teach them how to choose the behaviors, body language, boundaries and actions of an assertive individual.  Offer peaceful solutions so they can make better choices.
If you must intervene, do so with the knowledge of the short and long term consequences.

http://www.amazon.com/Bullyproof-Unleash-Hero-Inside-Your/dp/0692522719/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1444160023&sr=1-1&keywords=bullyproof

Other Free Resources:
https://bullyingpreventionworld.wordpress.com/
https://www.facebook.com/mybullyproofvest?fref=ts
https://www.facebook.com/Bullying-Prevention-Initiative-International-240455266014141/timeline/
https://www.facebook.com/Arizona-Bullying-Prevention-Project-195880673766509/timeline/

Meet John Nottingham, Security, Self Defense, Bullying Specialist, Speaker and Consultant

Meet John Nottingham Director, Bullying Prevention Initiative International      Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative The Phoenix BULLYPROOF Project  Speaker and Consultant John Nottingham knows what it is like to be bullied.  Not only did he overcome it, he has taught thousands of men, women and children to resolve conflicts peacefully for over 26 years.  His  mission is to provide alternative solutions on the serious issue of bullying and self defense; and to educate about the importance of peace and character education programs.  The connection between bullying and other forms of violence, and the effects bullying has on children is significant.  John specializes in Verbal Judo, Bullying Prevention and Victim Proof Self Defense Training, and is available to speak at schools, church groups, and community events.

>

Alternative to Anti-Bullying Movement  

John founded the not for profits Bullying Prevention Initiative International as well as the local chapter of the Arizona Bullying Intervention Initiative - The Phoenix BullyProof Project to provide alternatives to the failed school wide anti-bullying programs.

John  has served as an adviser and contributor for the Break The Chain Foundation, a charity dedicated to raising awareness about child abuse.  He is also authoring a book on bullying - 5 Steps To Handle a Bully Like a Bodyguard - a practical guide to self defense with dignity.  He draws from his vast experience in advanced threat assessment and management, self defense, security, military intelligence and role as a martial arts peace educator.  His methods have served as advice for various community, school, and faith-based programs, special events and conferences. 

If you have opportunity for a speaker, event, or program/project manager, or would like
to get more information about fees and services – John can be contacted by email ~ BullyProofVestAZ@gmail.com Facebook Bullying Prevention Initiative InternationalFacebook Arizona Bullying Prevention ProjectBlog Bullying Prevention World

Practical Bully Prevention and Victim Proof Training

“How To Make Sure Your Child Doesn't Get Bullied, Harassed, Teased or Picked On.”

March 13, 2011

How To Protect Yourself From Bullying – Unconventional Bullying Advice

http://bullyproofingarizona.blogspot.com/

Former Soldier, Bodyguard Trainer and Martial Arts Master Shares His 5 Step Program That Will Boost Your Child’s Confidence, Instill Inner-Strength, a Positive Attitude & Arm Them the Practical Tools to Protect Themselves from Bullying, Harassment and Teasing

Dear Arizona Parent:

Did You Know:

• Bullying is the #1 cause of school children’s absenteeism in the U.S.A.
• Bullying has been linked to higher rates of teen depression and suicide.
• Rigby (2002), who is a respected researcher on the topic of bullying, nationally and internationally, states:
• “Bullying involves a desire to hurt + hurtful action + a power imbalance + (typically) repetition + an unjust use of power + evident enjoyment by the aggressor and generally a sense of being oppressed on the part of the victim.” (p 51)
• Every day, 160,000 students skip school because they fear being bullied, according to the PACER Center, a parent training and information center for families of children. According to the National Association of School Psychologists,
• 1 in 7 schoolchildren is a bully or victim
• Bullying affects 5 million school children in U.S.

You may be thinking to yourself, “Do I know the techniques, tools and strategies to help my child confront today’s bullying dangers?
Don’t worry – there IS a solution – but before I get to it, let me tell you a story about a boy who was the target of a bully and how it changed his life forever…

SKINNY, UN-ATHLETIC ASTHMATIC
KID TORMENTED BY A BULLY

• His father told him to punch the bully right in the nose to “teach him a lesson”.
• His mother told him to just walk away.
• His teachers never knew about it because the bullying took place out of their sight, and often off school grounds, on the way to or from school.

He didn’t want to tell on the bullying kid because he would feel weak, like a sissy, only inviting more trouble.

He was afraid of getting in trouble for fighting, calling attention to his problem. But far more than that was the pain of keeping the secret. The secret was that he was scared, frustrated and felt trapped. That anger turned inward turned into feeling depressed as the bullying kept up over time.

But that all changed. He found a way:
• To stand tall, walk proud and keep his dignity
• Stand up to the bully
• To defeat a bully without fighting

In fact, he earned the respect of the bully and his classmates
Most importantly, he felt better about himself
Plus he used the lesson many more times in the future

BY STANDING UP TO THE BULLYING, HE WON SELF-RESPECT AND HIS NEW POWER HELPED HIM HELP OTHERS

Yes, as you probably guessed, that boy was me. Today I use those experiences to relate to other kids facing bullying in their lives. You see, I’ve helped thousands of children find their inner strength, their voice and successfully learn how to deal with bullying, conflicts and the most dangerous situations.

My name is John Nottingham and I am a 6th Degree Black Belt in the Martial Arts. I’ve trained in China, Korea and all over the world with some of the best of the best. I was in the Army Airborne and taught some of the roughest, toughest heroes in the world hand-to-hand, hand-to-weapon military combatives while serving in a Special Forces reserve unit.

Today I own a Executive Bodyguard Security and Training Company, and an award winning Martial Arts school. Over the past twenty five plus years, I have helped thousands of people from all walks of life discover their inner strength and stand up for themselves in every aspect of their lives.

From children who were getting tormented school to women feeling trapped in unhealthy relationships; from employees being mistreated by their bosses to Police and Security who have to use their skills daily on the streets. Not standing up for yourself from bullying can be just like a toxin that attacks your self concept and destroys dreams, hope and goals from the inside out.

THERE IS HOPE! I CAN HELP

I’ve developed a 5 step program to help you:
1. Build your child’s self esteem
2. Learn to handle unfair aggression
3. Flip the balance of power
4. Learn what to say and do and when to do it
5. Know how to spot a “bullying set up” well in advance so you can avoid it

VICTIM AND BULLY PROOFING

This unique method is not one of those ineffective “Ivory Tower” programs you’ll see from educational institutions. The schools that have had us there see the results because it works. Our Bullying Prevention Program isn’t theory or idealistic wishes. We give you hard-hitting tools, some of them the same strategies we teach to bodyguards who protect VIPs and celebrities! We’ll we think you are a VIP and are worth protecting.

To cut through the bullying dilema The Arizona Bullying Intervention Initiative – AZ Children’s Bully Prevention Project is working with Nottingham Sword and Shield Security and USA Martial Arts Phoenix to offer a series of bullying solutions – Victim-Bully Proof Workshops. Free Bully Prevention “5 Step How to Handle a Bully Without Fighting” training is being sponsored FREE to all Arizona Children.

What: How to Handle a Bully Without Fighting
When: 5-6pm Wednesdays during the month of March
Where: at USA Martial Arts Phoenix Tatum/Greenway Albertsons center
How much: Fully sponsored by Nottingham Sword & Shield Security, ScottsdaleBodyguard.com, KidsLoveMartialArtsPhoenix.com and USA Martial Arts Phoenix
How: Contact info@usa-martialarts.com or call (602) 896-8721 to register. Limited space available.

BULLY PROOF VEST by John Nottingham, USA Martial Arts, The Arizona Bullying Prevention Project.

The only bullying prevention program designed by protection professionals.

The Arizona Bullying Intervention Initiative | AZ Bully Prevention Projecthttp://bullyproofingarizona.blogspot.com/
4731 e. Greenway road suite 9 phoenix, arizona 85032
Telephone (602) 896-8721
USA Martial Arts Phoenix
Nottingham Sword & Shield Security Bodyguards