Thursday, September 29, 2011

How To Handle a Bully Without Fighting

Bully Buster Program

The Arizona Bully Prevention Initiative- Phoenix Bully Proof Project is dedicated to providing a safe learning and working environment for both our students and our teachers. With that in mind, the district has developed a series of intervention and prevention programs

It is the goal of everyone involved in the Phoenix, Scottsdale, Paradise Valley Arizona based program is to provide effective bullying prevention education, training and resources to parents, teachers, and children.

The Arizona Bullying Prevention Project has teamed up with USA Martial Arts Phoenix and Nottingham Sword and Shield Security to provide free Bully Prevention Workshops throughout the month of October. October is Bully Prevention Month.

For more information email or call 602-896-8721.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Bully Prevention & Self Defense Secrets - a Martial Arts Philosophical Perspective

by John Nottingham, EPS, PI, 6th Dan
The Arizona Bullying Prevention Project

When I first started martial arts in my youth I learned a secret to self defense and bullying prevention that has served me well throughout life. I'd like to share that secret with you in this brief blog article.

First you have to understand my teachers background. He was a ROK Marine, a Korean immigrant living in the Midwest teaching a hybrid martial art system. Not only did we get a dose of traditional Korean and Chinese Martial Arts philosophy, his lessons included some simple common sense wisdom he learned from his unique life experience. He grew up in the mean streets of a rapidly changing Korea, an ancient culture rapidly changing into the new world. Times were tough and you had to learn to stand up for yourself. Crime, rioting and street violence were frequent so his martial arts skills had to work if he wanted to be able to defend himself.

His techniques could not simply be theoretical or a hobby limited to personal development and fitness. He had to know what worked on the street, under pressure and often against multiple attackers. When a thug is in your face, this is not the time to hope your martial arts techniques work. He had to rely on them to save his bacon.
He later would serve in the military as a Marine during the VietNam conflict. ROK Marines were known for their ferocity, bravery and intense loyalty. So his experience was as a street fighter, martial artist (Chinese Temple Kung Fu and Korean MooDukKwan TangSooDo - later referred to as TaeKwonDo.) and as a combat soldier.

I was a young wide eyed kid wanting to learn the mysterious martial arts secrets from the orient. My imagination fired by James Bond doing Jujutsu, Bruce Lee doing Jeet Kune Do and Chuck Norris doing Tang Soo Do (Korean Martial Arts) I wanted this mysterious power of martial arts and self defense. After begging Mom for Martial Arts lessons, researching the phone book (this was before Google lol), and asking friends, I found two schools in town. The one with the tough reputation ended up being my choice. Over the years I've been blessed to follow my dream and study numerous systems.

Like so many others, I began my martial arts journey and discovered that it was much harder and different than what I had expected. This was particularly true for an insecure kid with asthma, allergies and issues of low self esteem and insecurity. Martial Arts helped me change all that. What I learned was that the battle we fight is first within ourselves. Once we begin to learn that, only then can we learn to deal kindly, politely and compassionately with others.
My first teacher taught me many lessons about work ethic, discipline, a strong mental "I CAN" attitude. Along with that, he taught each of his students this simple but profound truth about self defense. It equally fits how to deal with bullying and how to handle a bully problem. He said, "The best self defense is to have no enemies." Later, Grandmaster Jhoon Rhee would teach me that the most powerful person is one who can make friends and the best self defense technique in the world is the ability to turn a friend into an enemy.

Last week I reflected on these fond memories and martial arts lessons I've used over the years as I taught our USA Martial Arts students our lesson of the week. This particular phrase and lesson comes from my mentor Shihan Dave Kovar. "Who is mighty? One with control over their emotions and can make friends from enemies."

Although it seems simple, these lessons are powerful and profound in their use. It is for this and other reasons I feel so strongly that martial arts is so important for today's youth. It has the time-tested wisdom they need to be healthy, confident and strong individuals. It instills virtues that serve you throughout your life. It contributes toward a better community through building better citizens with a mindset of compassion, friendship and peace. It also helps keep America strong by preparing today's youth for tomorrows challenges. It all starts with the courage to face the fears and limitations within ourselves.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Bully Prevention Begins With Building Children's Self Esteem

Bully Prevention Specialist John Nottingham Says Teaching Kids How To Stop A Bully Begins With Building a Kid's Confidence

You can tell a child to walk away from a fight all day and they will still get into fights or be bullied. You can hope your child has the social skills to properly handle a bully or you can take specific steps to equip them with the correct bully prevention skills.

Social Intelligence is Built on Confidence
The difference between someone who successfully avoids being the target for bullying and those who are not is often social intelligence. Social intelligence is easy for some children and difficult for others. In my experience the underlying factor in all socially skilled children is the confidence factor.

Self Esteem and Confidence in Children Helps Prevent Bullying
Children with higher self esteem and solid confidence have a foundation from which to build. They see themselves as worthy of defending. After all, if you do not think much of yourself, then you won't see much reason to stand up to a bully. It takes a lot of courage to risk social ostracization, ridicule and even physical harm. Without a strong self concept, high self esteem and functional confidence, a child stands little chance in school, the playground or street. Before long, the negative experiences of being picked on can ad up and reinforce negative feelings towards one's self.

Taking Responsibility Helps Prevent Bullying
Preparing children for such social battles is the responsibility of the parent. Teachers, coaches and other responsible adults can reinforce and support these goals, but the primary source of education should come from the parents. Children model what they see and repeat what they experience in the microcosm of a family.

Lead By Example for Bullying Prevention
Children notice and mentally record how their parents handle conflicts-especially when handling aggression and power-imbalances like bullying behavior. They notice if we manipulate, deceive, confront, or avoid to deal with others. Depending on the child's personality and experiences, they choose to follow or not follow in our footsteps.

Building Strong Relationships Helps Prevent Being Targeted for Bullying
Often, children do exactly what they have see their parents do. This is why it is so important to have a strong relationship with children and be mindful that our actions are always teaching - positive or negatively. Ask yourself, based on how you last handled a social encounter, how might your child react to a bully?

Listening Builds Children's Self-Esteem
How well parents listen and take an active part in teaching their children how to develop problem solving and coping skills is key to effective bullying prevention. Coupled with a parents knowledge of their child's personality and social strengths, taking time to role play can really enhance the child's ability to effectively handle bullying behavior at school or elsewhere. Role playing builds confidence. Confidence significantly improves a child's chances for successfully dealing with a bully.

Want more information on bully prevention?
For other self-esteem and confidence enhancing tips, feel free to email us or visit our facebook page ARIZONA BULLY PROOF TRAINING.