Is Your Child's School Teaching Any of These Failed Bullying Prevention Techniques?

If your child is being taught some of these flawed strategies for bullying prevention, you need to know about it.
These methods not only fail children, but often escalate the bullying situation, make it worse, cause your child to be less respected and augment their peer rejection.

Bullying Myth #1
Bad Bullying Advice:  "Just ignore it."

Bullying Myth #2
Bad Bullying Advice:  "Tell a teacher right away."

Bullying Myth #3
Bad Bullying Advice:  "Just walk away."

Bullying Myth #4
Bullying Mistake: "It's the other kids fault and he or she is bad/evil/a bully and deserves to be punished."

Bullying Myth #5
"Nobody has the right to bully my kid!" I will rescue my angelic child from the evil bullies.

Bullying Myth #6
"It is the teacher's fault and they have to protect my kid."

Bullying Myth #7
"My kids school has a school-wide anti-bullying program so they are safe and protected."

Bullying Myth #8
"We don't have a bullying problem in this school."

Bullying Myth #9
"Bullying toughens kids up and is good for them."

Bullying Myth #10
"It's the teachers job to stop bullying."

If you are teaching your child any of these misguided and risky techniques, you need to consider John Nottingham's BULLYPROOF VEST program.

Instead of escalating bullying behavior, you will learn de-escalating techniques that lead to positive, peaceful resolutions.


You will learn:

• The reasons that ignoring bullying is dangerous and what message it can send to a child's peer group.
• The problem with telling a teacher creates, especially when most bullying occurs out of sight of teachers.
• The danger that walking away presents to your child's safety.
• The fallacy of 100% protection.
• The major problem of abdicating safety to teachers.
• The danger of the blame game and how it can be putting your child at risk.
• The research showing the failure of the school-wide anti-bullying programs and how it can put your kids at risk
• Security theater vs protection and how you can cut through the nonsense.

Take action now.  Learn what Bodyguards do for protecting children.

http://USA-MartialArts.com

http://Phoenix-MartialArts.com/blog

Free Radio Interview "Bully Busters" Click Herehttp://phoenix-martialarts.com/nottingham-bully.mp3

Listen to founder and Bullying Specialist John Nottingham
Discuss the USA Martial Arts & BullyProof Vest Anti-Bully Program on the
Outreach Today Radio Show

Play The Anti-Bully Interviewhttp://phoenix-martialarts.com/nottingham-bully.mp3

How To Stop Bullying With Verbal Judo Tongue Fu! The Bullying Matrix Revisited.

More Bullying Comeback Lines Click Here

How To Stop Bullying With Verbal Judo Tongue Fu!

Tactical Communication Skills for Kids and Adults [Anti-Bullying Behavior Communication]

Verbal Judo Comeback Lines and Tactical Communication That Redirects Behavior With Words

Bulling behavior is sometimes an individuals misguided way of getting to know you.  It can be a test to find out where your limits are and how what it takes to upset you.  While you may not think it's fun at all, keep in mind that how you respond will either make it worse or make it better.

Mixed Messages
Bullying behavior, or aggressive, rude, oppressive actions, teasing, taunting, picking and tormenting are wrong and inappropriate.  However, when people don't know how else to treat you, they may try it out to see how you react or respond.  They are sizing you up and testing out their power.  Think of it as a power struggle game where you can use your wits to win.  


Peace Before Punches
Here are some tips for practicing your bullying comeback lines.  You might try them in a mirror, record them on video or try it with a trusted friend.  It feels really awkward at first but that's why you want to practice before you have to use it for real.

1. Respond rather than react. Take it as a game - not a personal attack. If you react in anger, you lose and it will continue. Instead, respond with centered calm.

Deadpan Bully Comeback line:  "You're good at insults."

2. Do not look away. Looking away can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. At this time, people are watching to see how you respond. You teach people how to treat you with your words, body language and self control. How you handle these "tests" reveal your inner-strength.

Deadpan Bully Comeback line: "That was really creative."

3. Stand tall, square and display calm confidence.  Don't give away your power by looking weak, angry or afraid.

Deadpan Bullying Comeback line: "Thanks for the helpful advice.  I'll think about it."

4. Take a breath and let them finish. Remember, if you react with insults or aggression, rather than calm inner-strength, you will probably keep getting teased, picked on or tormented.  Pass the test and rise above the challenge they present.

Deadpan Bully Comeback line: "Clever, but make sure the teacher/boss doesn't hear you talking that way."

5. Acknowledge, never ignore. Everyone wants to be treated with respect and dignity. This is a secret to difusing situations involving aggressive (bullying) behavior. They are acting like a barking dog. Barking back only makes them bark louder and more.

Deadpan Bully Comeback line: "Funny, you should have your own insults TV show."

6. Be Water When They Are Fire.  It's really hard to continue to be mean to someone when they are strong enough to stay nice.  Eventually, most people will learn to respect you and become your friend.  Only in rare cases do people continue after you have shown that you will not get angry or allow yourself to react in an exaggerated manner.  Be kind, compassionate and loving and you will be surprised at how others will treat you.  At first, it usually gets worse, but then it gets better as they learn how to treat you.  Many times, you will have earned their respect and become friends.

Who is mighty? One who has self control and can make friends from enemies.

 Wage Peace!
Bullying Prevention Workshops

http://USA-MartialArts.com
http://Phoenix-MartialArts.com/blog

Anti-Bullying Arizona - Justin Bieber, Cody Simpson, Jonas Brothers Stand Against Bullying

Stand4Change Anti-Bully Day Video

Anti-Bully | Stand Against Bullying Day with Cody Simpson & Justin Bieber

School Kids Take Stand Against Bullying

Children and teachers all over Phoenix Arizona are taking a stand against bullying.  Thousands of Phoenix kids are taking part in Stand4Change.org day, an international demonstration for an ant-bullying message.

Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative & USA Martial Arts Phoenix

Spearheaded by The Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative, The Phoenix BullyProof Project and USA Martial Arts Phoenix, students are getting schools and kids on board with this timely message.  On the heels of the recent Lee Hirsch documentary film “BULLY”, the timing couldn’t be better.

Kids are seeing positive role models like Justin Bieber, Cody Simpson, the Jonas Brothers and others take a stand against bullying.  This is a way to raise awareness and get involved in something positive.

Stand 4 Change - Take a Stand Against Bullying

On May 4, 2012 at 12pm EST (9am Phoenix Arizona), students will join participants around the country and stand as a gesture of solidarity to show they are taking a stand against bullying. You can download a flyer at Stand4Change.org to take to your school or stop by USA Martial Arts Phoenix to get more information.

Arizona Bullying Prevention The Phoenix BullyProof Project

Ken Kragen "We Are The World"

The force behind Stand4Change & Defeat The Label is Ken Kragen, the mastermind behind the 1980′s movement Hands Across America and the “We Are The World” fundraising song.  He has some big plans in the works that include a song, celebrity endorsements and a national media campaign to raise awareness on bullying.

The Stand4Change national press will launch soon. Here is a video already on YouTube.com to share with friends, teachers and administrators if you want to take a leadership role and get it started in your school.

How To Get Involved & Take a Stand Against Bullying

If you are against bullying in schools please repost this so we can get as many people as possible to take part on May 4.

http://youtu.be/qye1U1qv1D4

Thinking Globally – Acting Locally

The Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative | The Phoenix BullyProof Project has teamed up with USA Martial Arts & Nottingham Sword & Shield Security to offer a series of follow up bullying prevention training camps and workshops. Contact BullyProofVestAZ@gmail.com for details or to register.

Tags:anti-bull

Anti-Bullying Arizona - Justin Bieber, Cody Simpson, Jonas Brothers Stand Against Bullying

Stand4Change Anti-Bully Day Video

Anti-Bully | Stand Against Bullying Day with Cody Simpson & Justin Bieber

School Kids Take Stand Against Bullying
Children and teachers all over Phoenix Arizona are taking a stand against bullying.  Thousands of Phoenix kids are taking part in Stand4Change.org day, an international demonstration for an ant-bullying message.

Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative & USA Martial Arts Phoenix
Spearheaded by The Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative, The Phoenix BullyProof Project and USA Martial Arts Phoenix, students are getting schools and kids on board with this timely message.  On the heels of the recent Lee Hirsch documentary film “BULLY”, the timing couldn’t be better.
Kids are seeing positive role models like Justin Bieber, Cody Simpson, the Jonas Brothers and others take a stand against bullying.  This is a way to raise awareness and get involved in something positive.

Stand 4 Change - Take a Stand Against Bullying
On May 4, 2012 at 12pm EST (9am Phoenix Arizona), students will join participants around the country and stand as a gesture of solidarity to show they are taking a stand against bullying. You can download a flyer at Stand4Change.org to take to your school or stop by USA Martial Arts Phoenix to get more information.

Ken Kragen "We Are The World"
The force behind Stand4Change & Defeat The Label is Ken Kragen, the mastermind behind the 1980′s movement Hands Across America and the “We Are The World” fundraising song.  He has some big plans in the works that include a song, celebrity endorsements and a national media campaign to raise awareness on bullying.
The Stand4Change national press will launch soon. Here is a video already on YouTube.com to share with friends, teachers and administrators if you want to take a leadership role and get it started in your school.

How To Get Involved & Take a Stand Against Bullying
If you are against bullying in schools please repost this so we can get as many people as possible to take part on May 4.
http://youtu.be/qye1U1qv1D4

Thinking Globally – Acting Locally
The Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative | The Phoenix BullyProof Project has teamed up with USA Martial Arts & Nottingham Sword & Shield Security to offer a series of follow up bullying prevention training camps and workshops. Contact BullyProofVestAZ@gmail.com for details or to register.

Tags:anti-bull

Hire Bullying Specialist John Nottingham as Your Next Speaker

BIOGRAPHY

 

Awesome Speaking, Seminars, Training and Entertaining Shows & Demonstrations!

Master John Nottingham Seminars:
Public and Private Speaking Presentations

You may recognize him as the safety expert featured on TV following 9-11, or from his other appearances for Personal Security and Self Defense, Stranger Safety, Bully-proofing or humanitarian efforts.

Master Nottingham is the author of several books on his system, a public speaker and has appeared in publications and broadcasts, including, The Arizona Republic, Phoenix Gazette and Channels 3, 10 and 12 News. Nationally and internationally he has appeared on ESPN2, on news broadcasts in Korea, China and made some modest appearances in commercials and movies.

He has demonstrated and taught for such companies as McDonalds Corporation, Inland Realty and Fiesta Mall, and has conducted seminars for numerous public schools, various groups, military and corporations.

"John, You will be the best Master in the Taekwondo world."

-Grandmaster Y.K. Kim, Senior editor of Taekwondo Times

As an Eagle Scout, former Airborne Soldier in a Military Intelligence Special Forces support detachment, personal trainer, trained bodyguard, entrepreneur, and "Hall of Fame" inducted Master Instructor he has a diverse background from which to draw. Each presentation is tailored to the needs of the audience and event.

Discover the secrets to gaining the edge in your life from an authentic Master of the martial arts and a leading safety expert.

One of the most passionate and dynamic teachers of his time, John Nottingham has positively impacted the lives of an thousands of men, women and children of all ages.

For over 20 years, his teachings have incorporated success-related concepts, and his materials have provided thousands of individuals, teams and companies with valuable personal development tools.

"Master Nottingham is a gifted and passionate

communicator with effective strategies and very

unique presentations that captivate audiences."

He has been trained by some of the leading experts, Masters and Grandmasters in the world. His research has taken across the country and as far as Asia to gain greater insight on martial arts, and peak performance.

"...he really cares and it shows."

"...electric!"

"I've heard lots of people speak from Anthony Robbins, Zig Ziglar and some of the very best and honestly, he is right at the top."

Booking

Contact John at 602-896-8721 for more information

JohnNottingham.com

USA-MartialArts.com

Phoenix-MartialArts.com/blog

Bullying Prevention Initiative International

The Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative -Phoenix BullyProof Project

• Personal Security Self Defense 
• Advanced Threat Assessment - Stalking Prevention
• Bullying Prevention | Anti-Bullying
• The ABC's of Conflict Avoidance 
• Workplace Violence | School Violence
• Breakthrough - Conquering Fear
• Verbal Judo Tactical Communication
• School Assemblies
• Corporate meetings and functions
• Community Events

Bully Movie Review and Commentary from a Bullying Prevention Specialist Part 1

Bully Movie Review and Commentary from a Bullying Prevention Specialist   

Part 1 of 2  

by John D. Nottingham, Bullying Prevention Initiative International - The Phoenix BullyProof Project

Is Bully The Anti-Bullying Movie Every Teen, Parent and School Teacher Should See?
Last night, April 13th 2012, I went to see the much anticipated ANTI-BULLYING documentary movie "BULLY" by award-winning director Lee Hirsch. You may recognize BULLY from the media coverage of the controversy between the MPAA and the Weinstein company over the film's R rating. After some slight editing of some expletives, the rating was eventually changed to PG-13.

BULLY Movie Documentary
I have had numerous requests for my views on the movie since the initial trailer was released. While I was tempted to write the review last night, I opted instead to give it more time to contemplate my blog post. Perhaps you will understand the reason for the delay as you read on.

A Brief Synopsis of Bully
For roughly a year, the documentary filmmaker and director Lee Hirsch follows the lives of five families with children who are experiencing bullying or had experienced bullying. It is an inside look at the gritty world of today's kids in small town America.

Bully's Main Character is a Socially Awkward 12-Year-Old Boy
The subjects of the film include a Sioux City Iowa 12-year-old boy named Alex, an awkward tween who has difficulty making friends and fitting in with his peers. The audience gets a glimpse inside of Alex grueling experience just taking the bus to school each day. Kids are seen hitting, choking, pencil poking, and knocking his head into the back of the bus seat.

 Based on what I saw, this is done in a manner clearly meant to dominate and hurt, but not severely injure (despite how other more sensational accounts have described it). To me it is clearly inter-male social dominance behavior - and Alex has no clue on how to put it into proper context, nor clearly define personal boundaries. It was difficult to watch for many in the audience who were visibly uncomfortable as the images permeated their sheltered reality.

Out and Ostricised Kelby - "Love Thy Neighbor"

Tuttle Oklahama 16-year-old Kelby's story depicts a lesbian girl suffering from ostracism and intolerance from people she has known her whole life.  BULLY shows her courageously attempting to change the social climate and attitudes toward her and the supportive role her family plays in her difficult situation.  Ultimately, her family decides to remove her from this school in order to help their daughter.

A Girl Pulls a Gun on a School Bus
Bully also shows the plight of a 14-year-old girl who brandished a gun on a school bus after claiming she had been relentlessly bullied. Actual video footage was used from the incident where the girl, clearly emulating gangster-like violence, points the gun sideways in the air and barks orders. I heard two different whispered comments from Scottsdale moviegoers as they recognized that a "14 year old girl had a tattoo on her arm". I found that interesting.

Lack of Alternatives - The Peace Education Conflict Avoidance Vacuum
What I know about teaching peace education and self defense is that when you deny children appropriate force options and coping mechanisms some will resort to whatever means they can to regain some sense of control. If you are sincerely interested in the subject I would recommend reading a book by one of my mentors called Stop Teaching Our Kids To Kill by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman. (No violent video games before age 8 - research clearly shows that it changes brain chemistry.) "Garbage in - garbage out" my Mom always used to say.

Heart-Wrenching Themes May Be Intense for Young Viewers
The movie also takes on two tragic accounts of families dealing with their child's suicide and implies a direct link to bullying (more on that later). Hirsch reveals the gut-wrenching story of Murray County Georgia parents Tina and David Long who lost their son to suicide. The 17 year old was told by kids at school that he should go home and hang himself - and he did. Mother Tina takes viewers on a tour of the room and closet where the tragic event took place and explains how the room now serves as headquarters for a campaign to keep Tyler's memory alive and bring attention to the issue of bullying.

The other story reveals the grief and devastation of a child's suicide and the vacuous wake left in these parent's lives. Their pain is captured in such an utterly raw manner, the audience is easily drawn into the film and their tragic story. The message I got from it had more to do with the tragedy of teen suicide rather than a causal relationship to bullying.

 
The connection was not clearly made to my way satisfaction and I would advise caution in making such judgments. I'll come back to this later to discuss my concern with this portrayal and its link to child safety. For now, I'll defer to psychologists on this one as I that is not my area of expertise, nor have I seen the research to make such connection. I just hope that the film maker is not exploiting these parents in their time of greatest grief.

My heart and prayers go out to the family in this time of unimaginable grief and loss.

Join USA Martial Arts Phoenix & The Phoenix BullyProof Project

 and Take a Stand Against Bullying Stand4Change.org

Poignant Example of Denial and Covering Incompetence?
Based on Hirsch's editing, the administration, in particular the assistant principal of Alex's middle school, comes off as particularly inept and more interested in defending the staff's position and choices of action. As with most independent film documentaries, one must take this with a grain of salt. However, those who have suffered bullying may be able to identify as I did with this pathetic cover-your-butt approach found in failed leadership.

One of the good things that independent films like this can do is to prompt and provoke. Hopefully it can lead to discussions and the need for putting things into context, the importance of accountability, empathy and compassion.

Personal Stories Tug at Heart Strings
BULLY reveals the feelings of helplessness and powerlessness from those who lack fundamental safety skills and appropriate answers. Those in my field know that this goes on all the time because we see the children and parents who have fallen through the cracks.  For others, this may just be the right kind of timely wake-up call to spark some positive action.

Should I Take My Child To See Bully?
I would advise parents seeing this movie first to know if it is right for their child. In my view, it would depend on the child's personality, maturity and how they handle themes of suicide, aggressive behavior, crass language, threats and so on. It would also depend on the parent's ability to put it into context so they do not overly generalize and can extract relevant themes or lessons.

Is Bully OK for Younger Children?
For younger children, you might wait until they are a bit older and choose to rent it and have a family discussion.

I think a parent needs to clearly define the goal of watching such a film and have a meaningful discussion before and after viewing it, should they decide it is right for their child. For some kids, it may be a wake-up call and a catalyst for healthy discussion - especially those in middle school and high school. BULLY could be used as a tool to encourage empathy and a hero culture.

Open Communication at Home is Better Bullying Prevention

It is important that children feel safe to share experiences, have their own views without judgement or overreaction from parents. From the feedback I get directly from children, they say one of the biggest reasons they don't tell their parents things is that Mom and Dad over react.  Kids sometimes feel that the parents will make it worse.  Keep in mind that trust is built over time.  A calm approach with a heart to listen without trying to immediately advise is the key to communication and a trusted relationship with your child.  Seeking first to understand, empathize and walk in your child's shoes so to speak can go a long way in opening doors to talking about difficult subjects.

Part 2 

 
Taking The Perspective of a Bullying Prevention Specialist and Professional Protector
For the remainder of the BULLY movie article I wanted to take on the review more from the perspective of a professional protector and bullying specialist. My hope is to offer some thought provoking points to consider, and some opinions rather than just a simple film review...

___________________________

Want to BullyProof Your Child?

Bring Them To BullyProof Vest Academy

Email: BullyProofVestAZ@gmail.com

___________________________

Bullied Boy Transforms From Victim to Victor

Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative
The Phoenix Bullying Prevention Project

Zachary Jameson felt "tortured" from his bullying experience.  Although he attended a private school and his father is a Police Officer, this tween felt the world caving in on him.

Diagnosed with Juevenile Arthritis, kids at his Atlanta school made fun of his legs.  Initially his parents were dismissive of the teasing thinking it was only kids trying to be funny.  It wasn't funny to Zach because he was contemplating suicide.

However this story has a different ending than many we've been seeing in the news.  Zach had the courage to tell his parents what he was feeling, resulting in a chain of events that would change his life for the better.

We at BullyProofing Phoenix believe that Zach's story stands as an example of hope and inspiration to parents, teachers, schools and children.

While the politically motivated "anti-bully" movement marches on in failure with the divisive, punitive approach and demonize children as bullies, other bullying prevention methods continue to prove successful.

Note the elements of a successful intervention, an example of my 3 Shields Strategy, in which the child targeted with bullying gets therapy, the bullying child is addressed and the social environment is transformed.   For long term success, the mind, body and spirit must be addressed.  Amid the noise of sensationalized media headlines, tragic alarmism, BPII/PBPP aim to bring you hope, truth, and clarity to help resolve the causes of bullying.

God bless you Zach and thank you for having the courage to accept help, tell your parents, and not give up.  You may be targeted with bullying but you do not have to be a permanent victim of it.  We would encourage you to study martial arts and build confidence, inner strength and additional skills to feel empowered to handle the challenges of the future.  You're worth fighting for and we know your story can inspire hope in others suffering in silence.

If you are being bullied like Zach was and need help, we want to help.  Visit us on facebook or email us at info@usa-martialarts.com and we'll provide you with bodyguard tools to keep you safe and give you peace of mind.

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