Friday, April 27, 2012

How To Stop Bullying With Verbal Judo Tongue Fu! The Bullying Matrix Revisited.

More Bullying Comeback Lines Click Here

How To Stop Bullying With Verbal Judo Tongue Fu!
Tactical Communication Skills for Kids and Adults [Anti-Bullying Behavior Communication]
Verbal Judo Comeback Lines and Tactical Communication That Redirects Behavior With Words

Bulling behavior is sometimes an individuals misguided way of getting to know you.  It can be a test to find out where your limits are and how what it takes to upset you.  While you may not think it's fun at all, keep in mind that how you respond will either make it worse or make it better.

Mixed Messages
Bullying behavior, or aggressive, rude, oppressive actions, teasing, taunting, picking and tormenting are wrong and inappropriate.  However, when people don't know how else to treat you, they may try it out to see how you react or respond.  They are sizing you up and testing out their power.  Think of it as a power struggle game where you can use your wits to win.  

Peace Before Punches
Here are some tips for practicing your bullying comeback lines.  You might try them in a mirror, record them on video or try it with a trusted friend.  It feels really awkward at first but that's why you want to practice before you have to use it for real.

1. Respond rather than react. Take it as a game - not a personal attack. If you react in anger, you lose and it will continue. Instead, respond with centered calm.

Deadpan Bully Comeback line:  "You're good at insults."

2. Do not look away. Looking away can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. At this time, people are watching to see how you respond. You teach people how to treat you with your words, body language and self control. How you handle these "tests" reveal your inner-strength.

Deadpan Bully Comeback line: "That was really creative."

3. Stand tall, square and display calm confidence.  Don't give away your power by looking weak, angry or afraid.

Deadpan Bullying Comeback line: "Thanks for the helpful advice.  I'll think about it."

4. Take a breath and let them finish. Remember, if you react with insults or aggression, rather than calm inner-strength, you will probably keep getting teased, picked on or tormented.  Pass the test and rise above the challenge they present.

Deadpan Bully Comeback line: "Clever, but make sure the teacher/boss doesn't hear you talking that way."

5. Acknowledge, never ignore. Everyone wants to be treated with respect and dignity. This is a secret to difusing situations involving aggressive (bullying) behavior. They are acting like a barking dog. Barking back only makes them bark louder and more.

Deadpan Bully Comeback line: "Funny, you should have your own insults TV show."

6. Be Water When They Are Fire.  It's really hard to continue to be mean to someone when they are strong enough to stay nice.  Eventually, most people will learn to respect you and become your friend.  Only in rare cases do people continue after you have shown that you will not get angry or allow yourself to react in an exaggerated manner.  Be kind, compassionate and loving and you will be surprised at how others will treat you.  At first, it usually gets worse, but then it gets better as they learn how to treat you.  Many times, you will have earned their respect and become friends.

Who is mighty? One who has self control and can make friends from enemies.

1 comment:

  1. Great advice. We often have to control these types of confrontations when we do workshops and these are great tips for our students AND teachers.