How To Stink at Being Bullied - Bodyguard Tips for Handling Bullies

How To Stink at Being Bullied...
A Bodyguard Trainer and Martial Arts Master Reveals 8 Secrets to Stink at Being a Bully's Target

It really stinks to be bullied.  But bullying back is the last thing you want to do.  Fighting isn't the answer either because that just makes you a bigger bully and it causes more problems than it solves.

Here are some tips to avoid being a good target for bullying.  Be a BAD target for a bully.  In the bodyguard world, we call this being a hard target.  That is, a difficult to get to and attack target.

1. Avoid trouble people.  Listen, watch and pay attention to situations so you can learn how to avoid trouble.

2. Avoid problem spots.  Change routes, times and places.

"The best block... Don't be there!" -Martial Arts Maxim

3. Travel in groups.  You have power in numbers - especially if they are your friends.

4. Have a great sense of humor.  Humor is disarming and can deflect lots of negative attacks and earn the respect of would be harassers and bullies.   Just make sure your humor isn't antagonistic or it could escalate the situation and make it worse.  Make it funny for the person bullying and you may have won a friend.

Bully comeback line:

Bully: "Your hair looks stupid."   

Answer: "Great, I'm joining a bad hair contest so I should win! Sweeeet!"

5. Carry yourself with calm confidence and do not react to bullying taunts with anything that could be perceived as weakness.  Even shouting a strong, "STOP!" or "NO! That's not cool." might work.  Make sure your body language, tone, eye-contact and word choice project strength.

Verbal Judo Bully Comeback Line:

"If a teacher hears you talking like that you'll be in serious trouble.  I don't want that so lets just be friends."

6. Tell right away if you are having trouble and they are continuing to target you.  Tell until you get the help you need but don't think that will perfectly fix the situation.  Keep your mental, emotional and physical guard up.  You're worth defending and protecting.

7.  Be friendly back.  Sometimes kindness kills rudeness.  Be a friend until the point when you can't.  Then it's time to tell.  Remember that there is a difference between telling and tattling.  Telling is meant to help someone.  Tattling is meant to get back at someone and is just another form of bullying.  Tattling usually makes things worse.  Plus less people will believe you.  Telling the right people will make things better.  Tell your parents, teachers, friends and trusted adults like a coach.

8. Join martial arts and be so busy working on yourself and building your confidence that you don't have time to worry about the other junk.  Plus you will learn good skills for carrying yourself with inner-strength, social skills to make good friends, and practical self defense.  Nothing beats bullying like a Black Belt... nothing.



Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative The Phoenix Bully Proof Project FACEBOOK
Bully Proof Arizona BLOG
Bullying Prevention Initiative International FACEBOOK
Bullying Prevention World BLOG

For a free radio interview with Bully Busting tips click here

Sponsored in part by:

USA Martial Arts & Kickboxing Phoenix

Nottingham Sword & Shield Bodyguards
JohnNottingham.com

Tips To Fight Bullies - Anti-Bullying Help

USA Martial Arts & Kickboxing Phoenix
Offers Free Bullying Prevention Workshop
and Scholarship to Children Being Bullied

How To Stop Bullying
Anti-bully | Bullying Prevention
_________________________________________________________

Four Tips to Fight Against Bullies!
Nobody likes to be picked on. Here are four tips for your child to use to fight against bullies.

What can you do when being bullied? 

First realize that there is a big difference between fighting and self defense.  When you think of fighting first, you are already headed for trouble.  Instead, physical self defense of blocking or stopping an attack is the last resort and only used after every other option has been exhausted.

Bullying is a broad term that is used by some to describe a wide variety of behaviors.  Most bullying is a power play that seeks a reaction, usually from someone who will respond like victim and play out a role.  If you refuse this role, often the person bullying will seek a different target.  They may test you again from time to time, but usually it ends if you show strength by not responding how they want, staying centered and calm or having a sense of humor.

Start by trying to be friends or just avoiding the situations that seem to go bad.  Stay away from the problem people or areas and try to change the situation if you can.  When that doesn't work, you're going to have to summon some inner-strength.  (That's why we recommend martial arts training for confidence. )  You can practice your comeback lines and body language with a friend, family or trusted person and really get into it to make it real.  But remember, it's not what you do, it is how you do it.  Make it real and be ready to back it up.

• Speak up against bullying. Say something like, “stop it.”
• Use Verbal Judo "Talking like that can get you into a lot of trouble and I don't want to see that happen. Let's be friends and keep it cool."
• Don't react and leave. Act like you do not care, even if you really do.
• Tell an adult you trust. They may have ideas about what you can do.
• Stick together. Staying with a group might help.   

Become Your Own Bullying Bodyguard Role Play From Nottingham's BullyProof VestBullying Trap "You're Stupid!"Verbal Judo Bullying Comeback Line: "You Can Think Whatever You Want." 

Bullying Escalation "You're Such an Idiot!"
Verbal Judo Bullying Comeback Line: "You Offering To Tutor Me?" 

Refuse To Be a Bullying Victim!
Remember, it's not what you say but how you say it. Your response needs to be centered, strong and calm without showing that it can bother you. By keeping your cool and showing they can't bother you, then you keep the power. Refuse to be a victim. Practice your tone, body language and internal dialog (what you say to yourself.)The response should be deadpan and relaxed. Keep your cool and dignity.



Things to remember...

You are not alone.
It is not your fault. Bullying is wrong - but it happens!
Talk to someone you trust. Keep telling until you get help.
Do not hurt yourself.  It can and will get better.
Do not bully anyone else.  This attracts more problems and makes it worse.
Do not let the bully win by giving up. Keep doing what you love to do.

Build yourself up to be strong and prepared.  

For cyber-bullying, online bullying, texting bullies, or social media bullying try to document the evidence like a detective and turn it in to prove your point and get help.

For more information on bullying prevention or how to deal with a bully the smart way contact:

Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative The Phoenix Bully Proof Project FACEBOOK
Bully Proof Arizona BLOG
Bullying Prevention Initiative International FACEBOOK
Bullying Prevention World BLOG

For a free radio interview with Bully Busting tips click here

Sponsored in part by:

USA Martial Arts & Kickboxing Phoenix

Nottingham Sword & Shield Bodyguards
JohnNottingham.com

Beat Bullies With Peaceful Martial Arts Moves

Phoenix Arizona Martial Arts Instructor John Nottingham is teaching his Karate Kids to Beat Bullying With Peaceful Martial Arts Moves.

Bullycide, Cyber-Bullying, Bully Revenge
The outcry has across the country and even around the world is about bullying.  The amount of attention bullying is receiving is unprecedented.  While school-wide programs are adopted and some clearly continue to fail students, a martial arts instructor and bodyguard trainer offers a different approach.

"When children are not given appropriate options, they resort to the only options they come up with....all too often horrific ones.  Instead, we advocate giving them peaceful martial arts moves to empower them to address bullying appropriately.  We have the moves and it can be taught.  The fears of increased liability are unfounded in my view.  in fact, it is just the opposite.  What is the liability socially, morally and legally for a child committing suicide or going on a school shooting rampage? What is the responsibility for a child going overboard and using excessive force on another child because they were pushed over the edge?  If we fail to read the signs, accept responsibility and reality, these are the consequences."

An Alternative Approach To Bullying Prevention
More and more research is coming in as schools implement bullying prevention programs.  The reviews are mixed but one thing John Nottingham can tell you is that he is seeing the kids and their parents who fall through the cracks and need practical help with bullying.

"I see the students and parents who schools have failed.  These parents are desperately seeking solid answers to their children's bullying problems.  We have answers that most schools simply fail to provide.", says Nottingham, founder of the Bullying Prevention Initiative International.

False Assumptions Lead to Failed Results in Stopping Bullying
Most schools operate under the false assumption that rules protect children.  While they certainly can help in the process of preventing bullying, policies and rules are only one aspect of the issue.  The real issue is the children and their self defense competence.

Bullying Fact: Over 85% of bullying goes unreported.

Here some things we do that are different about our bullying prevention methods:
How To Stop Bullying 
We address the full spectrum of self defense including:

How to avoid being selected as a bullying or crime target

Knowledge and warning signs of how  bullying behavior starts

How to avoid trouble spots, common bullying locations, set ups and recognize trouble behavior and situations

Actionable steps to divert a pathway to crime or bullying

Verbal Judo skills to thwart bullying or ward off an attack

Physical intervention options to peacefully resolve attacks without excessive force

The important elements of aftercare and protecting your body, mind and emotional health

The importance of speaking up for others and how to offer bullying first aid by being a friend, inclusive and showing empathy

"Which would you rather have.  Skills for children to know how to properly deter, discourage, or even pin and hold down a bully until help arrives or the alternative... becoming depressed and so desperate that they feel they have no alternative but to hurt themselves or go on a shooting spree.  We offer hope.  We can give them tools to get help and take positive action if needed that protects all children involved.  Physical intervention does not mean violence.  But it will if we don't provide them with alternatives.  We have to get past this ignorant, failed and ridiculous ideology.  Sometimes life calls for physical action options.  Better to know them and not need them, than need them and not know them." says Nottingham.

Nottingham doesn't stop there.  His bullying prevention program also addresses:

• Teacher Training and Parent Training to know how, when and what to listen for from children.  
• Warning signs of bullying.  
• How to know if it is continuing and why children will often conceal bullying.

Maybe it is time to broaden our discussion and research on Bullying to include some more practical options. Nottingham says that peace is sometimes won in ways other than denial, abdication, posting signs, making more rules, laws, wishful thinking and reporting.

To learn more about the Bullying Prevention Programs John endorses or his training organization and programs contact:


Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative The Phoenix Bully Proof Project FACEBOOK
Bully Proof Arizona BLOG
Bullying Prevention Initiative International FACEBOOK
Bullying Prevention World BLOG

For a free radio interview with Bully Busting tips click here

Sponsored in part by:

USA Martial Arts & Kickboxing Phoenix

Nottingham Sword & Shield Bodyguards

Anti-Bullying, The David and Goliath Bullying Prevention Program

Do You Sometimes Feel Like This?

Anti-Bullying: The David and Goliath Bullying Prevention Program Seeks to Change Children From The Inside Out

Do You Feel Like You're Facing a Giant?
Why Do So Many Anti-Bully Programs Fail Children?
Bullying Prevention Initiative International founder John Nottingham says the reason so many bullying programs fail children and families is that it attempts to manipulate external forces, rather than the internal ones causing the bullying.  Many children feel trapped by a bullying situation because they are afraid to tell or believe the situation will only get worse if they do anything other than comply.

Anti-Bullying David and Goliath Approach of John Nottingham's Bully Proof Vest Program
Their bullying situation leaves them feeling outmatched and like the underdog.  That is why we refer to it as our David and Goliath approach.  Our Bullying Prevention Program addresses this on a very practical and straight forward level for children, parents and teachers.

I have children and their parents coming into my martial arts schools exasperated with trying to deal with bullying in the manner the schools and mainstream thinking advises.  We give them our proven formula for bullying prevention that has worked for thousands of men, women and children over the past twenty six years.

Bullying Prevention The Bodyguard and Black Belt Way
Nottingham and his team of Bodyguards and Black Belts share a message of hope aimed at children to help them face aggressive behavior intelligently and improve social intelligence.  They begin with listening, something few bullying prevention programs do.  We have a carefully crafted interview process that helps the child feel safe and allows us as professional protectors to offer safety and conflict resolution advice that is appropriate for that child's unique bullying situation.

It's interesting to me that so many experts are so quick to offer prescription without diagnosis.  Studying advanced threat assessment for executive protection (body-guarding) has taught me that each potentially violent or threatening encounter should be treated individually.  

Addressing Bullying From The Inside Out Rather Than The Outside In
John Nottingham, a 6th Degree Master Black Belt and security company owner points out; what would you think of your Doctor performing surgery and offering advice to you without doing tests and a proper diagnosis first?  Yet this is the method for most so-called experts leading anti-bully programs.  They put out generic information, put up posters, establish rules and bring in motivational speakers in the name of "awareness".  While some of it may have merit, the fact is that children are still falling through the cracks.  Encroaching on others free speech or trying to convince ourselves that we are simply going to stop others from being mean, cruel or insulting is just impractical nonsense.  We must do better.

Rather than criticize these, albeit well intentioned, approaches, I decided to be part of the solution and use our bodyguard skills as professional protectors to contribute toward the solution.  We train children so they develop empathy, incentivise a hero culture and instill values of right and wrong.  My team and I emphasize accountability, transparency and conflict resolution skills.  We help children develop inner-strength to face life's challenges with courage and know how to access help, support and resources.  Then they know they are not alone when facing their giants.

Bullying Prevention is a Self Defense Science
These bullying prevention skills comes from his programs Three Shields approach of treating the children targeted with bullying, the social environment (bystanders), the bullying behavior as well as teachers and parents.  Nottingham says we can only change it if we acknowledge the reality of Bullying, harassment and aggressive behavior as it relates to self-defense and human dignity, then recognize we all have a stake in the process.

Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative - The Bully Proof Project
You will not help a child by merely fixing the problem for them.  It may be necessary in some rare instances, however that is only temporary.  If children do not develop the skills to handle bullying situations parents and teachers risk making them life long victims, or worse, avengers who take their frustration to extremes.  Nottingham says this is why it is so important to start early and instill noble values and a sense of inner-strength in each child.

BullyProof Your Child Right Away.

Bullying Prevention Initiative International - Bullying Network | Bullying Info | Bullying Facts
Bullying Prevention World   BLOG            FACEBOOK
Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative - The Bully Proof Project | Bullying Training Phoenix AZ 
Arizona Bully Proof Training   BLOG         FACEBOOK
Community Sponsors and Partners in Protecting Children
http://USA-MartialArts.com

Bullying Best Practices  Evidence Based Anti-Bully Programs  Research Based Bullying Prevention

Was Your Child Bullied Today? Bullying Help Here...

Was Your Son or Daughter Bullied Today?

The pain of being bullied can have terrible long term consequences.  You are not alone.  Bullying is a common problem many children as well as adults face.  Bullying takes place at school, work, and even online.  We work with parents and children who are experiencing bullying to help them prevent, prepare and protect themselves from bullying.  

We have the answer:

• Build Inner Strength
• Know What To Say To Bullying
• Know When To Act
• Have Confidence To Stand Up, Speak Up and Stop Bullying
• Have Peace of Mind

BULLYING INFO AND STATISTICS

 Info on Preventing Bullying, Harrassment, Violence , Online Bullying, and School Bullies.

Listen to Our Director and Founder
John Nottingham Discuss the Anti-Bully Program on the
Outreach Today Radio Show

Play The Anti-Bully Interview

Bullying Prevention Resources and Links

Bullying Prevention Initiative International Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bullying-Prevention-Initiative-International/240455266014141?sk=info

Bullying Prevention World 

http://bullyingpreventionworld.wordpress.com/2011/11/13/how-to-handle-bullying-with-clever-comeback-lines-from-verbal-judo/

The Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative Phoenix Bully Proof Project 

Bully Proofing Arizona

http://bullyproofingarizona.blogspot.com/

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Arizona-Bullying-Prevention-Project/195880673766509?sk=info

http://USA-MartialArts.com

http://KidsLoveMartialArts.com

http://JohnNottingham.com

Waging Peace on Bullying - How To Beat Bullying The Bodyguard Way

Listen to Our Director and Founder
John Nottingham Discuss the Anti-Bully Program on the
Outreach Today Radio Show

Play The Anti-Bully Interview

Bullying is getting a lot of attention these days.  Each week new headlines are circulating in the media about bullying related topics.  From anti-bullying, bullying prevention and new options, one voice seems to be standing out among all the noise.  

Waging Peace on Bullying

A new organization developed by bodyguards, martial arts Masters, teachers and child safety experts is training children to resolve conflicts without fighting.

On the heels of recent media reports of bullying, cyber bullying related teen suicide, and abuse, some parents are taking steps to prepare their children for the dangers they face in school and life.

How to cross a street, the 911 emergency/fire safety system, how to swim, parents are now adding sexual abuse prevention, self-defense from depression, obesity, diabetes and BULLYING.

They are doing this through USA Martial Arts in Phoenix Arizona.

BULLYING FACTS:

• Bullying is the most common form of violence in American society according to the National Association of School Psychologists.
• Bullying affects 15 to 30 percent of students as either bullying child or the targets of bullying
• Studies have shown that adults who were bullied as children have a much higher level of depression and lower self-esteem than those who were not.

While you may think that your child's school is taking bullying seriously, the statistics show that over 85% or higher of bullying incidences go unreported. Many more incidences of bullying take place before, after or while children are not in school. Despite these laudable efforts to curb bullying, they do not always deflect and defend bullying attacks. That is precisely where bodyguard and law enforcement trainer John Nottingham comes in.

Nottingham, an Army Airborne Veteran who served in a Special Forces unit and trained elite soldiers in hand to hand combat, has gone on to teach law enforcement and bodyguards. He has used his knowledge of advanced threat assessment, verbal judo and non-confrontation approach to develop a specialized BULLY PREVENTION TRAINING & SELF DEFENSE organization called The Bullying Prevention Initiative International with a local chapter here in Phoenix.

I started the program having successfully taught bullying prevention for over 25 years. I was glad to see the Olweus system being taught in many schools here in Arizona but concerned for the lack of training on force appropriate physical intervention skills. 

BULLYING STATISTIC OVER 85% OF BULLYING GOES UNREPORTED 

I want parents and teachers to have options to teach their children or students.
We cover the full spectrum and teach different skills than other programs offer. I didn't agree with the approaches that infringe on free speech or that do not adequately address violence, off campus bullying and other safety concerns. Our programs draw on protective tactics used by professional protectors – bodyguards.

Starting with The Arizona Bullying Intervention Initiative, Nottingham trained his staff and students at his USA Martial Arts school in Phoenix and conducted public speaking engagements, school assemblies and teacher training. His programs have caught on and requests came in to share his unique bully busting methodologies.

Nottingham then created the Bullying Prevention Initiative International to support those interested in the bullying prevention mission. One of his more popular programs is called "Bully Proof Vest" prepares children of varying ages to deal with bullying as well as other safety issues they might face such as abductions and abuse.

His courses emphasize avoidance, de-escalation and deterrence tactics that help children develop social assertiveness and confidence. The skills range from verbal tactics to force appropriate physical self-defense techniques to escape to safety and mitigate abuse.

Nottingham's "Bully Proof Vest" self-defense and escape school course gives children confidence to resolve self-defense and safety issues both in and out of the classroom (where most of the bullying and abuse take place, out of the view of teachers).

Bullying is one of the most difficult issues that students, parents and educators might encounter in or out of school. However, with our strategies, we can make a difference.

The Bullying Prevention Initiative International strives to offer the most practical and effective bullying prevention program available.

Learn more about bullying, how to prevent or resolve it, and more about the Bullying Prevention Initiative International organization or the Arizona chapter Arizona Bullying Prevention Initiative.

Protect your children with bullying prevention skills and strategies by contacting USA Martial Arts Phoenix and a certified bully prevention specialist to inquire about upcoming seminars based on the Bullying Prevention Initiative International programs. info@usa-martialarts.com 602-896-8721

http://bullyingpreventionworld.wordpress.com/
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bullying-Prevention-Initiative-International/240455266014141
http://phoenix-martialarts.com/blog/

School Wide Bullying Prevention Programs Failing

Chances are that your children are being taught some form of anti-bullying or bullying prevention program in their school.  You may have been invited to a special school assembly, had a motivational speaker or fortunate enough to have an actual protector teach.  Most likely, you are seeing elements of the Olweus Bullying Prevention system or some similar academic approach.  But do they work?

Parents continue to bring their children to my martial arts school because they are frustrated with bullying problems with their child.  They are often exasperated, having gone to the school, spoke to the teachers, administration and cannot find a resolution.

I also am receiving more and more calls and emails about our bullying prevention programs and training methods from martial arts school owners, teachers and administrators frustrated with their current bullying prevention program results.

Read some of my thoughts and see current research on the effectiveness or ineffectiveness of the school-wide bullying prevention programs in many school systems.

Common Anti-Bulling or Strategies to Prevent Bullying From School-Wide Bullying Prevention Programs

· Avoid bullies and where they hang out
· Act and look confident
· Be observant
· Tell your friends
· Tell many adults
· Be assertive
· Stay calm
· Keep a safe distance
· Walk away
· Say “Stop it!”
· Say “Leave me alone!”
· Say “Whatever!”
· Use humor
· Use “I messages” – “I do not like to be treated this way.”
· Travel in a group
· If you’re in danger, RUN

On the surface, this list, quite common to most anti-bullying rhetoric, looks good and helpful.  What is not revealed to you is what puts children at risk.  Do you see it?

Do you know why so many people are still having problems with bullying even after these anti-bullying programs are put into your child's school?

Learn more.  Listen to a free radio interview with Bullying Prevention Specialist John Nottingham

If you don't see the primary safety problem with the above information, I urge you right now to take action and visit our blogs.  We'll share with you how most anti-bullying and bullying prevention programs inadvertently miss the mark and unnecessarily put children at risk for being victims.  But don't worry, there is hope and we have proven strategies for dealing with bullying, harassment and aggressive behavior.  We've been doing it successfully for over twenty six years and can help you too.

In a short time, you will be able to easily spot the reason's those popular anti-bullying programs are failing children.  You can be part of the solution and give children hope.

John Nottingham's Bully Proof Vest
The Phoenix Bullying Prevention Project
The Arizona Bullying Intervention InitiativeBullying Prevention Initiative International
Sponsored by: USA Martial Arts & Kickboxing Phoenix, Nottingham Sword & Shield Security Bodyguards