Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The Battle Avoided Cannot Be Lost - Arizona Bully Proof Training

"The Battle Avoided Cannot Be Lost." - Sun Tzu

One of the lessons we teach in our BULLY PROOF VEST children's bullying prevention program is the concept of using brains over brawn.  We introduce the idea to the children that it you are wise, clever and keep one's dignity if you can outsmart your opponent.  Of course the manner in which we do this is age appropriate and accomplished with games, drills, role playing and poignant anecdotes.  We recommend reinforcing the idea that the child is stronger, not weaker for making good choices to avoid the battle.  Bedtime stories, dinner conversations and even movie scenes can be great opportunities to instill this lesson.

Nottingham's K.N.I.G.H.T.S. - Peace Warriors | Hallway Heroes |
I developed a program called NOTTINGHAM'S KNIGHTS where I teach them to be a PEACE WARRIOR and to wage peace, they get to be "the good guys" and peacemakers.  They stand up for the weak and the defenseless.  The agree to bravely and politely intervene, step in and speak up for others.
I'm currently offering the Nottingham's KNIGHTS Life and Leadership Lessons from Martial Arts Masters  curriculum as an after school program to a select few local schools. The goal is to raise funds for the PTA or PTO and give children essential skills for confidence, safety and life.

Finding Dignity
In teaching and interviewing thousands of children over the years about bullying and situations of conflict, I've learned that many boys and girls do not see dignity in avoiding a confrontation.  Thats why its so important to reinforce those ideals and encourage those virtues often.  Parents can reinforce this idea by praising children for doing the right thing even though it may come with a consequence.  They can also make examples about how 'proud' they would be if their child demonstrated this maturity and wisdom (big kid behavior).

STAR Emotional Intelligence & Problem Solving
One great way of teaching this is to use stories that illustrate the point.  Another way is to notice "teachable moments" that life gives us and take the time after it takes place to talk about the lessons learned.  One tool we give to our audience is the STAR method of developing emotional intelligence and problem solving.  It teaches children how to understand feelings and insert time to make better choices.  They STOP, THINK, ACT and REVIEW.  The results are quire remarkable.  

The Golden Rule "Do Onto Others as You Would Have Them Do Onto You"
We also strive to encourage empathy in our students.  This is usually done by having them learn "The Golden Rule" and imagine themselves in somebody else's shoes.  We know from teaching Law Enforcement Verbal Judo (tactical communication) that empathy is a potent tool in deescalating situations.  A parent or teacher might say, "This is how Police officers handle situations like these."

Developmentally speaking, younger children are more egocentric and must be guided to become more self aware.  Teachers typically do this well and we ask them to tie it into our basic bullying safety training when opportunities arise.

Encouraging the good, the noble, the powerful and positive in children. 

Here is the blog dedicated to the subject of bullying in Arizona. Parents, teachers and children can find information, statistics and resources to arm them with knowledge and techniques to successfully deal with bullying. 

Bully Proof Vest - Bully Solutions Workshop

Free Bully / Victim Proofing workshop every Wednesday for this entire month of March at USA Martial Arts Phoenix at Tatum & Greenway in Phoenix/Scottsdale/PV at 5pm on Wednesday nights. To register, simply email info@usa-martialarts.com or call 602-896-8721. It's fully sponsored by Nottingham Sword & Shield Security/ScottdsdaleBodyguard.com and USA Martial Arts Phoenix.

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