Tuesday, March 8, 2011

How To Face a Bully With Confidence and Courage

Children Need to Know They Don't Have To Be An
Ultimate Fighting Champion To Effectively Deal With Bullying
UFC MMA Champion Frank Shamrock has his own bully Prevention
Project Called We Stand Together Against Bullying

How To Face a Bully With Confidence and Courage - A Peaceful Approach To Defeat Bullying Without Fighting
by John D. Nottingham, EPS, 6th Degree Black Belt founder Arizona Bullying Intervention Initiative

There are a lot of people writing blog articles and offering advice on how to handle a bully.  With a simple Google search, you can find plenty of advice for how to deal with a bully - anti-bully, bully busting, bully this, and bully that.  However, I do not advocate most approaches because they simply are not effective in protecting the child.  That is why my security company, martial arts school and experts teamed up to create the Arizona Bullying Intervention Initiative -The Phoenix Children's Bully Prevention Project.

Do I have to be Jet Li, Chuck Norris or Bruce Lee to Handle a Bully?

Children need to know that they don't have to be muscular like a UFC MMA Champion, Jet Li, Chuck Norris or Bruce Lee to deal with a bully.  The Arizona Bullying Intervention Initiative -The Bullying Prevention Project advocate a common sense before self defense evidence based approach that includes the ABC's of conflict avoidance.  It is the first program of it's kind to integrate bodyguard strategies and peaceful conflict resolution methods into a fun format for kids to learn and use for life.

A Bullying Training Myth and Common Misunderstanding
In this article I will discuss one of the most commonly discussed but misunderstood aspects of building social skills and conflict avoidance skills for preventing bullying in children.  I would caution any reader to not readily dismiss this advice as rehashed same old tired information that is already out there.  A bit of research will reveal the profound failure, and even danger, of many of the so called "anti-bully" training courses available.  This is evidence based recommendations built on thousands of actual bullying cases we helped children solve.

Building a Strong Bullying Defense With Self Confidence
One of the best allies a child can have in facing a bully with courage is to build self confidence.  In my experience, self confidence is built from a progressive realization of skill or mastery over a task or skill.
I teach my students that competence builds confidence.
The Not-So-Secret Confidence Building Advantage
Of course we have the not-so-secret advantage that has proven itself successful in peacefully resolving conflicts for centuries - the traditional wisdom of classical martial arts.   Martial Arts training prepares children in ways that most sports and children's activities can not.  Martial Arts builds children from the inside out, giving them inner strength to stand tall and be proud without being cocky.  Martial Arts gives them the self control to manage anger and direct energy in a positive manner.  Martial Arts provides the mental training and social skills to apply ancient time-tested wisdom to a modern world.   Plus they have the profoundly added benefit of physical readiness to protect and defend themselves as a last resort.

For a child, just knowing you can defend yourself often means you won't have to.

How does one build competence to gain confidence?
Repetition is the key to learning and applying skill.  That is why it is so important to practice the social, mental, emotional and physical skills necessary to build a strong defense against bullying.  Experiencing bullying can be a learning opportunity with lasting life lessons or it can lead to lasting regrets, deep emotional scars that are held for years.

The difference in the result of a bullying experience is training.

BULLYING FACT: Did you know that children who demonstrate bullying behavior select their targets?  Bullying children select their victims based on perceived vulnerability.  Do you know the signs?

Here are some bullying solution tips kids can use right away:

  • Stand up tall
  • Take stronger -bigger steps
  • Make eye contact
  • Engage others with greetings and a smile
  • Learn to be still and respond rather than react
  • Build confidence through discovering your strengths
  • Make friends
  • Role play and rehearse 
Practice doesn't make perfect.  Practice merely builds habits.  Build good ones!

Denial is Not a Safety Strategy
Parents and teachers can give their student or child a significant edge if they prepare children in advance to expect that they will encounter bullying behavior at some point.  If children know the signs of bullying, how to deal with it, and have practiced the bullying proofing steps, they are likely to have a bullying prevention skill-set that they can use for life.  Their very interpretation of the bullying events will be characterized and viewed differently.

We don't send our children to school without school supplies or basic social skills to succeed so why would we leave out conflict avoidance and bullying?  

The children who are most likely to suffer the consequences of bullying experiences are the ones who are the least prepared.  

Training works for swimming, fire safety, water safety and even crossing the street.  Learning to deal with human conflict, bullying behavior and other social and safety issues are just as important.

How To Deal With Bullying 
To give your child or school students an edge in skills ask us about our unconventional victim-bully proofing training programs, school assemblies, teacher trainings or children's bullying safety seminars contact us at the website or telephone number below.

Free Bullying Solutions Workshop in Phoenix

 Do you remember seeing kids get bullied?
Did it happen to you when you were a kid? How did it make you feel?
Do you remember the names of the bullies when you were a kid? 
This Special FREE Class Will Reveal...

  • How To Easily Spot and Read The Bully.
  • How To Defeat The Bully WITHOUT Violence.
  • The Secret Word That Always Stops The Bully In His Tracks
  • The Little Known Strategies For Dealing With Mental Bullying
  • How To Deal With a Bully - In The Real World!
  • Much Much More

Date: Every Wednesday in March
Time: 5pm - must call or email for appointment
At: USA Martial Arts Phoenix in cooperation with Nottingham Sword & Shield Security
(4731 E. Greenway Rd Suite9 Phoenix, Arizona 85032)

This Class is held FREE at designated times for all Phoenix AZ Children, But Space is Limited! You Must Register in Advance!

For a fee: seminars, appointments, off site seminars, school talks and training Call: (602) 896-8721 or visit http://USA-MartialArts.com to Reserve Your Space Now! Don’t Wait! Your Child’s Self-Esteem is Too Valuable!

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